Too many people today are focused on what they don’t want;
- hate their job
- unsatisfying relationships
- don’t like where they live
And on, and on, and on.
But by focusing on what you don’t want, instead of what you do, you are just pushing what you want further away.
Picture this, you are on holiday and exploring a foreign country, driving along you come to a 4-way intersection of the road.
The arrows on the road give an indication of where they lead to; one points to a road leading down to a sun-baked secluded beach. Another arrows points to a road leading up to a winding path to a spectacular mountain retreat. The third arrow points straight ahead to take you into the country’s capital, where there are museums, restaurants, and cultural shops.
Which way do you go?
Unfortunately, many people, when coming to this intersection, stop and lament that they’re put into the position of needing to make a decision.
They don’t like where they are and put also don’t want to decide where they want to go, it’s easier to complain.
Having your life in front of you, you can decide to go wherever you want, but along that path lies uncertainty. You are not sure if after all of the effort to get there, will you be happy. Also, by going there, you could possibly miss out on other wonderful opportunities.
So you feel stuck, unsure, and anxious.
The fact of the matter is you won’t know until you try and even then you might not get what you like but it is certainly better than feeling stuck and too afraid to take a chance.
What do you want?
The problem of focusing on what you don’t want is that it engages the protective part of the brain, the part that has the purpose to survive. It “circles the wagons,” looking at how to protect itself. The pessimist.
On the other hand, focusing on what you want and asking how to get it engages the creative part of the brain. The problem-solving, hopeful, adventurous, and intuitive part that is looking to explore. The optimist.
Saying, “I don’t want to be here!” is akin to being in a room filled with countless doors. It doesn’t matter which door you pick as long as it gets you out of the room.
But, the door you pick may not lead to where you actually want.
So instead of saying, “I don’t want to be here.” Choose to declare, “I want to be here!” And then decide how you might be able to get there.
The Pain of Regret Weighs Tons
“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” — Jim Rohn
Start today on focusing on what you do want and build the discipline to move toward those goals each and every day.
Monitor your energy, using it as a compass to guide you, when you feel filled with emotion, that is a good indication that you are moving in the right direction.
Simon Sinek, in this short video clip, talks about Olympic athletes preparing for competition. The reporters kept asking the young men and women if they were nervous and the athletes would reply that, no, they were excited.
You see the physiological response in the body of nervousness and excitement are the same. And you get to choose how to respond to those signals, pessimistically or optimistically.
Regardless, don’t let those “butterflies” stop you from going toward what you want.
And if necessary, seek help.
Find someone who has gone to where you want to go, get a roadmap that will make the journey easier, bring along friends to have companionship along the way.
But whatever you do, start going toward what you want, and you will be leaving what you don’t want behind before you even know it!