Crawl Before You Run: Building Confidence, One Step at a Time
Imagine this.
It’s ten years from now.
You’re sitting alone, thinking about your life.
The memories flood in—not the ones of bold moves or thrilling victories, but the ones that never happened.
- The words you didn’t say
- The job you didn’t apply for
- The risks you never took because you weren’t “confident enough”
The feeling hits you—fear, not of failure but of regret.
A life lived within safe boundaries, where fear of taking the first step outweighed the joy of the journey.
But what if, ten years from now, the story you remember is different?
What if you looked back and saw not perfection, but progress?
Not a life without fear, but a life lived despite it?
Here’s the truth: Confidence isn’t some magical trait you’re born with or stumble upon one day.
It’s built step by step, fall by fall, much like a toddler learning to walk.
And you can start today.
The Myth of Instant Confidence
Think back to when you were a kid.
Maybe you were learning to ride a bike.
At first, it was terrifying—wobbly handlebars, scraped knees, the constant fear of falling.
Did you hop on and immediately ride like the wind?
Of course not.
You started slow, hesitant.
Maybe with training wheels, maybe with someone steadying you from behind.
Somewhere along the way, you got the hang of it.
Not because you were fearless, but because you kept going despite the fear.
Confidence works the same way.
But here’s the catch: Most people believe they need confidence before they take action.
They wait for it to show up like a guest who’s perpetually late to the party.
They say, “I’ll assert myself once I feel confident.”
But here’s the irony: Confidence doesn’t come before action. It comes after.
Every time you take a step—however small—you prove to yourself that you’re capable.
You don’t need to convince anyone else, just you.
And with each step, your confidence grows.
Missed Opportunities Are the Real Monsters
Picture yourself standing at the edge of a pool.
You’re afraid to jump.
Maybe the water looks too deep, or you’re worried about how cold it will be.
You watch as others leap in, laughing, splashing, living.
The longer you wait, the harder it gets.
And here’s the cruel twist: It’s not just the fear of jumping that weighs on you anymore—it’s the regret of not jumping.
That’s how life works.
The opportunities you let pass by don’t just vanish; they stick with you, quietly whispering in the back of your mind.
Over time, fear of action turns into something worse: shame and guilt.
The good news?
You don’t have to live that way.
Start Small: The Toddler Method
If the idea of taking bold action feels overwhelming, that’s okay.
Nobody runs a marathon their first day out.
Start where you are—crawl if you have to.
Think about a toddler learning to walk.
They don’t worry about looking silly or falling.
They try, they fall, they laugh, they try again.
It’s messy, sure.
But every stumble brings them closer to standing tall.
The beauty of starting small is that it lowers the stakes.
Afraid to speak up in a meeting?
Start by sharing one small idea.
Nervous about asking someone out?
Begin with a friendly hello.
Over time, these tiny steps add up.
You’re building not just confidence, but resilience.
Real-Life Example: The Fall That Taught Me to Fly
Let me share a story.
At 59, I look back and see plenty of moments where I felt like that toddler—crawling, stumbling, unsure.
One that stands out is when I first started learning martial arts.
I was terrified to step onto the mat.
Everyone else seemed to know what they were doing. I, on the other hand, felt completely out of my depth.
My first few lessons were humbling.
I tripped.
I fell.
I literally had nightmares of sparring my classmates.
But here’s the thing: I kept showing up.
I focused on small wins—learning how to break a fall, practicing footwork to move out of the way, perfecting a single technique.
Each time I walked off the mat, I felt a little stronger, a little braver.
Years later, I earned my black belt.
Not because I was fearless, but because I learned to crawl, then walk, then run.
Why Crawling Is Powerful
Starting small does something magical: It shifts your mindset.
When you start crawling, the voice in your head—the one that says “you can’t do this”—gets quieter.
You realize that falling isn’t the end of the world.
In fact, it’s part of the process.
Small steps compound.
One leads to another, and soon, the thing that once felt impossible becomes second nature.
The best part?
Crawling isn’t just for beginners.
Even the most successful people use this approach.
They don’t leap blindly into the unknown; they start with what they can manage, building momentum as they go.
The Confidence You’re Looking For Is Already Inside You
Here’s the truth: You don’t need to wait for confidence to show up before you start living boldly.
You don’t need a perfect plan or a guarantee of success.
All you need is the courage to take the first step.
Start small.
Crawl if you must.
Speak up in one conversation.
Say yes to one opportunity.
Write one sentence, make one call, take one chance.
You won’t transform overnight.
But one day, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come—not with regret, but with pride.
And when that day comes, you’ll realize something powerful: Confidence isn’t something you find.
It’s something you create.
So, what’s your first step?
