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The Cure to Living a Life of Weakness

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The Way of the Warrior and How I Made It a Habit in My Life

Let’s cut right to the chase—most men today are weak.

  • Physically

  • Mentally

  • Emotionally

  • Spiritually

It’s a plague sweeping across society, and if you don’t fight against it every single day, you could get swallowed whole, like Brad Pitt facing waves of zombies in World War Z.

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Brad Pitt making his way thru zombies in World War Z

The enemies are everywhere.

You can see them, feel them.

You can sense the creeping laziness, the settling mediocrity, and the growing comfort with weakness.

And what does this mean for you? It means you’re in a battle. A battle against:

  • The weakness of the body

  • The laziness of the mind

  • The timidity of the heart

  • The selfishness of the soul

  • The poverty toward others and yourself

Every day, the war wages on.

And if you’re not aware of it, you’re losing.

Weakness is Contagious

It starts slow.

First, you let yourself skip that workout.

You tell yourself it’s just one day.

You’re tired, you’ll get back to it tomorrow.

Then, tomorrow comes, and you skip it again because, well, now you’re in the habit of making excuses.

Then comes the mental laziness.

Why push yourself to read, to study, to expand your mind when it’s easier to scroll through social media or binge-watch Netflix?

What’s the harm, right?

Everyone’s doing it.

Then your heart.

You start avoiding tough conversations.

Why speak your truth when it’s easier to stay quiet and avoid conflict?

Why face rejection when you can keep playing small, safe, and comfortable?

Soon, selfishness takes over.

You stop thinking about how you can give more to others, to your family, your friends, your community.

You’re too focused on yourself.

You start hoarding time, energy, and resources.

And before you know it, you’re living in poverty.

Not just financial poverty, but spiritual and emotional poverty.

You’ve lost the richness of life—the drive, the purpose, the fulfillment that comes from living like a warrior, battling weakness at every turn.

The reality is, weakness is like gravity.

It pulls you down unless you fight against it every single day.

And it will turn you into a hollow version of yourself if you let it.

The path of least resistance is the path to weakness, and it’s seductive.

It’s always there, offering you comfort and ease.

But it’s a lie.

A trap.

Weakness in one area bleeds into every other area.

  • Physical weakness seeps into your mental strength

  • Mental laziness dulls your emotional intelligence

  • Emotional timidity shrinks your spiritual capacity

Everything is connected.

But the world has made it easy for you to fall into weakness.

Society rewards comfort, applauds mediocrity, and celebrates victimhood.

You can coast along, make excuses, blame others, and play it safe.

No one will call you out.

But you’ll feel it.

That nagging, deep-down feeling that you’re not living up to your potential.

That you’re not who you’re supposed to be.

And that’s where the battle begins.

Weakness Will Destroy You

Here’s the hard truth: weakness isn’t neutral.

It doesn’t just leave you where you are.

It drags you backward, slowly and subtly, until one day you wake up and realize you’re not just weak—you’re defeated.
Warrior crying in pain and defeat

Weakness will creep into every part of your life.

Your relationships will suffer because you’re too weak to lead, too weak to have hard conversations, too weak to be honest with yourself and others.

Your finances will crumble because you’re too lazy to build, too scared to take risks, too comfortable with being average.

You’ll spend your days scrolling, consuming, and doing nothing productive, all while telling yourself “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Your mind will become soft because you’ll avoid challenges.

You’ll stop learning, stop growing.

You’ll retreat into a world of easy dopamine hits—food, entertainment, social media—anything to numb the fact that you’ve let yourself become soft.

Your body will fall apart.

You’ll get tired, weak, and out of shape because you’ve allowed yourself to skip workouts, ignore discipline, and justify laziness.

And most of all, your soul will shrink.

You’ll lose that fire, that sense of purpose, that warrior spirit that pushes you to be more, do more, and give more.

You’ll become selfish, living only for yourself and your own comfort.

This is the reality of weakness.

It destroys you from the inside out.

And once you’re in its grip, it’s damn hard to get out.

But there is a cure.

A way to fight back.

A way to reclaim your strength, your power, and your purpose.

Becoming the Warrior

The cure to living a life of weakness is simple, but not easy.

You have to fight.

Every.

Single.

Day.

Weakness doesn’t take a day off, and neither can you.

This battle is 24/7.

You don’t get weekends, holidays, or cheat days.

The fight against weakness is a daily commitment, and it’s the price you pay for living a life of strength, success, and fulfillment.

So, how do you fight?

How do you reclaim your power and live like a warrior?

1. Fight the Weakness of the Body

Your body is your temple.

It’s the foundation of everything.

If you’re physically weak, you’re mentally weak.

Start here.

Make the decision that you will not allow your body to atrophy.

  • Get up

  • Move

  • Train

  • Lift

  • Sweat

Every single day.

It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Start with simple, consistent actions.

Push-ups, running, walking, lifting weights.

The key is consistency.

Build the habit.

​Make it non-negotiable.​

Your body is the first line of defense in the war against weakness.

2. Fight the Laziness of the Mind

Your mind is a weapon.

Sharpen it every day.

  • Read books

  • Take courses

  • Listen to podcasts

Challenge yourself to think deeper, question assumptions, and learn new skills.

Mental laziness is easy to fall into because it feels harmless.

But it’s insidious.

If you stop growing, you start dying.

A weak mind leads to weak decisions, and weak decisions lead to a weak life.

3. Fight the Timidity of the Heart
Warrior victorious despite the wounds

Being brave isn’t about not feeling fear; it’s about moving forward despite it.

You have to train your heart to embrace challenges, conflict, and the unknown.

  • Take risks, even when you’re scared

  • Speak your truth, even when your voice shakes

  • Pursue your goals, even when you don’t feel ready

Timidity will ruin your life if you let it.

It will keep you small, scared, and stuck.

To live like a warrior, you must train your heart to be bold, courageous, and unrelenting.

4. Fight the Selfishness of the Soul

The warrior doesn’t live for himself.

He lives for something greater—his family, his community, his mission.

You have to get out of your own head and start giving more than you take.

Serve others.

Help those around you.

The more you give, the more you grow.

The more you grow, the more you become.

5. Fight the Poverty of Your Spirit

Finally, you must fight the poverty mindset.

This isn’t just about money.

It’s about abundance in all areas of life—abundance of energy, focus, love, and purpose.

Stop thinking small.

Stop playing safe.

Stop living like there’s not enough to go around.

A warrior doesn’t hoard.

He creates.

He multiplies.

He expands.

This is the opposite of weakness—it’s power, growth, and contribution.

The Warrior’s Code

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The Mandalorian – This Is the Way

Living a life of strength isn’t just about hitting the gym or making more money.

It’s about fighting the enemies of weakness wherever you find them—in your body, your mind, your heart, your soul, and your spirit.

If you let your guard down for even a day, weakness will take over.

But if you commit to the fight, if you refuse to live a life of mediocrity, then you will rise above the hordes of zombies living in comfort and ease.

You will stand strong, and your life will become a testament to what it means to be a warrior in a world of weakness.

So fight.

Every single day.

Are You Doom-Scrolling Social Media? 50 Things to Do Instead

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It happens.

It may even have happened to you.

You have 5 minutes to kill and instead of doing something productive, you open social media and next thing you know you’ve wasted too much damn time.

Not shaming you, I’ve been there myself.

That is why a few years ago I compiled a list for myself of things to do instead of opening up my phone and wasting time.

It dawned on me to share this list when a buddy at my BJJ school shared his frustration with social media and falling in.
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Here’s my partial list, so I don’t firehose you with TMI.

Physical Health

Bruce Lee workout routine
Bruce Lee workout routine

Physical health is sorely lacking today.

With too much time at desk at work, on the sofa at home and stuck in your car or public transit going from home to work.

Here are 10 things you can do to get your body moving.

  1. Stretching: Focus on areas like your neck, back, legs, and shoulders. Simple stretches like reaching for your toes or doing a chest opener can relieve tension.
  2. Short Walk: Even a 5-10 minute walk can improve circulation, reduce stress, and boost your energy levels.
  3. Bodyweight Exercises: Do a set of push-ups, squats, lunges, or planks. These exercises require no equipment and can be done in small spaces.
  4. ​Breathing Exercises: Practice deep, diaphragmatic breathing or try box breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4).
  5. Hydrate: Drink a glass of water. Many of us are mildly dehydrated without realizing it.
  6. Yoga Poses: Do a quick series of yoga poses like child’s pose, downward dog, or warrior pose to relieve tension and improve flexibility.
  7. Foam Rolling: If you have a foam roller handy, use it to massage and relieve muscle tightness.
  8. Dance: Put on your favorite song and dance around for a few minutes. It’s fun, energizing, and great for cardiovascular health.
  9. ​Jump Rope or Jumping Jacks: If you have enough space, these are excellent ways to get your heart rate up.
  10. Eye Health: Practice the 20-20-20 rule (every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds) to reduce eye strain.

Mental Health and Relaxation

With all the stress of work, life and your relationships, who couldn’t use a little time out to relax and decompress?

Here are 10 healthier habits than distracting yourself with social media.

a young samurai meditating
  1. Meditation: Use apps or simple techniques to meditate for 5-10 minutes. Focus on your breath or use a guided meditation to clear your mind.
  2. ​Gratitude Practice: Write down or mentally list 3 things you’re grateful for. This can shift your mindset to be more positive.
  3. Visualization: Visualize your future goals or an ideal outcome to something you’re working on. This boosts motivation and reduces stress.
  4. Mindfulness: Spend a few minutes in mindful observation, paying attention to your surroundings, senses, or thoughts without judgment.
  5. Journaling: Write down your thoughts, ideas, or reflections. It helps clear mental clutter and can give you insights into your emotions.
  6. Read a Book: Keep a book or e-reader handy. Even a few pages of fiction or nonfiction can be a productive way to spend time.
  7. Learn Something New: Listen to a podcast or audiobook, or read an article on a topic that interests you.
  8. Affirmations: Practice positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem and reinforce your goals.
  9. Solve a Puzzle: Crossword puzzles, Sudoku, or brain teasers stimulate your brain and improve cognitive function.
  10. Listen to Music or a Podcast: Choose calming music or an inspiring podcast to uplift your mood.

Productivity

It’s amazing how much you can do when you spend a few minutes here and there.

I always like to keep a list of what I’m working on and breaking them down into time categories.

Not all projects are “deep work” that need 3-4 hours of interrupted focus.

Some don’t even require a 25-minute Pomodoro session.

Sometimes 5 minutes is all you need to tidy up or get mental clarity on an upcoming project.

Obsidian.md
Using a system to manage your knowledge
  1. Tidy Up Your Space: Organize your desk, clean out your bag, or declutter a small area. A tidy space promotes a clear mind.
  2. Plan Your Day/Week: Take a moment to review your goals or to-do list. Prioritize tasks and schedule your next steps.
  3. ​Brain Dump: Write down all the tasks, ideas, or thoughts swirling in your head. This can reduce overwhelm and improve focus.​
  4. Set a Small Goal: If you have time, work on a small part of a larger project. Breaking tasks into small chunks makes them more manageable.
  5. Meal Prep or Plan: Use your time to plan healthy meals or snacks for the week. Prepping ingredients or making a grocery list can save time later.
  6. Organize Digital Files: Spend a few minutes decluttering your phone or computer, deleting old emails, or organizing files.
  7. Update Your Finances: Check your budget, track expenses, or review your financial goals.
  8. Call or Text a Friend: Reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. This strengthens relationships and can uplift both your mood and theirs.
  9. Water Your Plants: If you have houseplants, use the time to water or care for them. It’s a small, peaceful activity that also brightens your environment.
  10. Review a Bookmarked Article: Go through the articles or learning resources you’ve saved but haven’t had time to read.

Personal Growth

Every morning, I start my day with a 5-minute reading from the book, 365 Tao, by Deng Ming-Dao.

It gets my day started on the right foot and I’ve been reading it for over 20 years!

You can do the same for your own personal growth, in just 5 minutes per day.

  1. Learn a New Skill: Spend a few minutes practicing a new language using apps like Duolingo or Babbel, or learn a new skill online.
  2. Practice a Hobby: Whether it’s playing an instrument, sketching, or knitting, take some time to engage in a creative activity you enjoy.
  3. ​Affirm Your Goals: Take time to review your long-term goals and affirm the steps you’re taking to achieve them.
  4. Mentorship Notes: If you have mentors or role models, jot down questions or reflections to discuss next time you speak with them.
  5. Read a Personal Development Book: Grab a personal development or self-help book that aligns with your current goals.
  6. Work on a Puzzle or Brain Game: Keep your mind sharp with strategy-based games or puzzles like chess, Tetris, or even Rubik’s cubes.
  7. Take a Skill-based Course: Platforms like Udemy or YouTube offer quick lessons in anything from coding to photography.
  8. Revisit Your Vision Board: If you have a vision board, spend a few moments visualizing the achievements you want to manifest.
  9. ​Learn a Recipe: Use the time to look up a healthy recipe you’ve been meaning to try.
  10. Reflect on Wins: Jot down your recent achievements and wins, no matter how small, to boost confidence.

Emotional and Social Well-being

The one common factor that most longevity research has shown is that community and connection is the biggest factor for living a long and happy life.

Make those investments now by practicing these 5 habits each and every day.

  1. Compliment Someone: Send a thoughtful compliment or message to someone. Boosting others’ morale also uplifts your own.
  2. Acts of Kindness: Perform a random act of kindness, like donating to a cause, writing a positive review, or offering help to someone.
  3. Hug or Pet Your Animal: If you have a pet, take time to cuddle or play with them. It boosts your mood and lowers stress levels.
  4. Call a Loved One: Use the moment to strengthen your relationships by checking in on family or friends.
  5. Express Gratitude: Send a thank-you note to someone who has helped you or made a positive impact in your life.

Miscellaneous

And a few more activities that you can do which is much better for you than social media.

  1. Go Outside: Step outside for a few minutes to get fresh air and sunlight. Even a brief time outdoors can improve your mood.
  2. Declutter Your Wallet/Purse: Clean out unnecessary receipts or items, and organize what you need.
  3. Work on a Long-term Project: Dedicate a few minutes to progress on a passion project or something you’ve been meaning to get to.
  4. Mindful Snacking: If you’re hungry, prepare and eat a healthy snack like fruit, nuts, or yogurt, and enjoy it mindfully without distractions.
  5. ​Track Your Habits: Spend time reflecting on your habits or updating your habit tracker for a sense of progress and accountability.

By incorporating any of these activities, you’ll be able to use your free time in a way that contributes to your physical, mental, or emotional well-being without turning to the internet or social media.

“No F*cking Way!” My Mantra for Success, Happiness and a Life Worth Living

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How to Use Your Emotions to Achieve Your Goals and Dreams

In the world of online gurus, we’re constantly told to picture our dream life.

We’re encouraged to create vision boards, write out our ideal day, and envision every detail of the life we want to live.

These exercises are powerful tools, no doubt.

But here’s the harsh reality: while these practices can help, they often fall short.

Why?

Because so many people engage in these exercises yet still find themselves stuck, unable to achieve what they envision.

The problem is simple but profound.

We, as humans, are wired to be more motivated by fear and worry than by joy and dreams.

It’s a survival mechanism that’s kept our species alive for thousands of years.

This is why the news is filled with negativity.

“If it bleeds, it leads,” isn’t just a catchy phrase; it’s a reflection of human psychology.

We’re drawn to danger, to what could go wrong, because our brains are designed to protect us from threats.

But this isn’t all bad.

In fact, it’s a tool you can harness, not just to survive, but to thrive.

I call this the “No Fucking Way!” exercise.

This approach has been a cornerstone of my life, and it can be for yours too.

The Power of “No Fucking Way!”

Let me take you back to when I was just a kid.

My father grew up in a household filled with trauma and abuse.

Despite being an intelligent man, working on computer systems in the 1950s and 60s, he was also plagued by poor choices.

He was an alcoholic with a half-pint of Seagram’s VO always at hand, smoking unfiltered Camels, and spent most of his time lounging on the sofa, watching TV.

He died of emphysema at the age of 39.

I was only eight years old when I made a vow to myself: “I will never be like you. No fucking way.”

That moment wasn’t just a childish rebellion.

It was a declaration, a commitment to myself that I would not fall into the same traps.

My father’s life was a warning sign, a red flag waving furiously in front of me.

And I decided then and there that I would steer clear of everything he represented.

But it didn’t stop there.

As I grew older, I continued to observe the world around me.

I watched my older cousins make foolish decisions, I saw people around me struggle with obesity, laziness, and bullying.

Each time, I told myself, “No fucking way.”

This mindset became my guiding principle.

It wasn’t just about avoiding my father’s mistakes or the mistakes of others around me.

It was about using my fear, my disgust, and my anger as fuel to create the life I wanted.

My dream life wasn’t built solely on pursuing my dreams.

It was built on a refusal to fall into the same situations I saw others struggle with.

Harnessing Negative Emotions as Fuel

Most people shy away from their negative emotions.

They’re uncomfortable, unpleasant, and downright painful at times.

But here’s the truth: those emotions are some of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal.

The key is not to ignore them or suppress them, but to harness them, to use them as a driving force.

When you’re faced with a situation that fills you with fear, disgust, or anger, don’t run from it.

Embrace it.

Let it be the fire that fuels your journey.

Imagine you’re standing at a crossroads.

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Begin with the end in mind

On one side is the life you don’t want—the one filled with poor decisions, bad habits, and regret.

On the other side is the life you dream of, filled with success, happiness, and fulfillment.

Which path do you think will get you moving faster?

The one where you casually stroll towards your dreams, or the one where you sprint away from the life you refuse to accept?

The “No Fucking Way!” exercise is about sprinting.

It’s about using the life you don’t want as a catalyst to propel you towards the life you do want.

Applying the “No Fucking Way!” Exercise in Your Life

So how do you apply this in your own life?

It starts with awareness.

You need to be brutally honest with yourself about what you don’t want.

This isn’t about being pessimistic or negative.

It’s about clarity.

It’s about being a warrior, planting your flag and standing up to any and all enemies that stand in your way.
Be willing to take on all comers!

It’s about knowing, deep down, what you absolutely refuse to tolerate in your life.

  1. Identify the Warning Signs: Look at your life, your surroundings, and the people in it. What are the warning signs? What behaviors, habits, or situations do you find abhorrent? Write them down. Be specific.

  2. Declare Your “No Fucking Way!” Moments: For each warning sign, declare your “No Fucking Way!” moment. This is your commitment to yourself that you will not fall into the same traps. Say it out loud if you need to. Feel the emotion behind it. Let it sink in.

  3. Use These Moments as Fuel: Every time you’re faced with a challenge or a decision, remember your “No Fucking Way!” moments. Let them guide you. When you’re tempted to slack off, to take the easy road, or to make a poor decision, think about what you’re running from. Let that fear, disgust, or anger push you forward.

  4. Balance with Positive Vision: While the “No Fucking Way!” exercise is powerful, it’s important to balance it with a positive vision of where you’re headed. It’s not enough to just run away from what you don’t want; you also need to run towards what you do want. Picture your dream life, but now, picture it with the fire of your “No Fucking Way!” moments behind it. The combination of these two forces—fear and desire—will make you unstoppable.

Turning Pain into Power

One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking that pain is something to be avoided at all costs.

But pain is one of the most powerful motivators in existence.

When you learn to turn your pain into power, you become a force to be reckoned with.

Think about the people who have made the biggest changes in their lives.

More often than not, those changes were sparked by pain—whether it was the pain of a failed relationship, a health crisis, or hitting rock bottom in their career.

Pain has a way of cutting through the noise and getting us to focus on what really matters.

The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t isn’t that the successful people never experienced pain.

It’s that they used that pain as a catalyst for change.

When you engage in the “No Fucking Way!” exercise, you’re doing exactly that.

You’re taking the pain, the fear, and the anger you feel and turning it into something constructive.

You’re using it as a driving force to push you forward, to get you off your ass, and to keep you on the path.

The Yin and Yang of Motivation

Modern culture is obsessed with positivity.

We’re told to think happy thoughts, to focus on the good, and to always look on the bright side.

And while there’s value in that, it’s only half the picture.

In martial arts, there’s a concept called yin and yang—the balance of opposites.

Light and dark, hard and soft, positive and negative.

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​Taijitu, the Yin/Yang Symbol

One cannot exist without the other.

The same is true for motivation.

You need both the positive and the negative to create balance.

You need the vision of where you’re going and the fear of where you don’t want to be.

This is the true yin and yang of motivation.

By incorporating the “No Fucking Way!” exercise into your life, you’re embracing this balance.

You’re not just relying on positive affirmations or vision boards to get you where you want to go.

You’re also tapping into the raw, primal emotions that drive human behavior—fear, disgust, and anger.

And when you can harness both sides of the coin, you become unstoppable.

A Personal Story: From Fear to Freedom

Let me share with you a personal story that illustrates this concept.

When I was in my 20s, I had a job that I absolutely hated when I first moved to LA.

The pay was terrible, the work was mind-numbing, and the company was run by crooks.

Every day, I felt like I was dying a little inside.

For a few months, I did nothing about it.

I stayed in that job, miserable but comfortable in my misery. (The devil you know, and all that…)

Then one day, I hit a breaking point.

Something inside me snapped.

I remember going home that night, sitting in the dark, and feeling a surge of anger and fear like I’d never felt before.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I couldn’t imagine me being here for another year, let alone as a career.

“No fucking way,” I told myself. “I will not spend the rest of my life in this hell.”

That moment of pain and anger became the fuel I needed to make a change.

I quit my job the next day, with no real plan, no safety net, and no idea what I was going to do next.

But that fear of staying where I was—of living a life of quiet desperation—was greater than my fear of the unknown.

That was the beginning of my journey to where I am today.

And I can honestly say, if it weren’t for that “No Fucking Way!” moment, I might still be stuck in that dead-end job, miserable and unfulfilled.

Your “No Fucking Way!” Moment

Everyone has their own “No Fucking Way!” moments—those instances where you draw a line in the sand and refuse to cross it.

The key is to recognize those moments, to use them as fuel, and to let them propel you towards the life you want.

So I ask you: What are your “No Fucking Way!” moments?

What are the situations, behaviors, or lifestyles that you absolutely refuse to accept in your life?

Write them down.

Declare them out loud.

And then use them as the fire that drives you forward.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about chasing your dreams.

It’s about running from the nightmare of a life you refuse to live.

And when you combine that with a clear vision of where you’re headed, you become an unstoppable force, capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

“Hate where you are so much, it gets you off your ass.
Love where you’re going so much, it keeps you on the path.”

P.S. If you found this newsletter helpful, do me a favor, forward it to someone you think might benefit from it, and that way, together we can create more leaders, warriors, and badasses!

I F*cked Up – The Day I Lost Control: A Lesson in Fear and Growth on the Mat

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The Moment Fear Takes Over

I want to talk to you about a moment we’ve all experienced—the moment fear takes over, and we lose control.

We’ve all had that one experience where everything goes wrong, and we’re left asking ourselves, “What the hell just happened?”

The other day, I found myself in one of those moments on the BJJ mat, and it was a wake-up call.

But more than that, it was a reminder that growth and self-discovery often come from our darkest moments, the ones we’d rather forget.

I was drilling a specific defense against getting mounted, working with a purple belt I’ve rolled with a few times before.

We’ve got a good rapport; he’s a nice guy, not the type to push things too far.

Still, something was off that day.

Maybe it was me, maybe it was him, or maybe it was just one of those days when the universe decides to test you.

I’ve always been clear about why I train in BJJ.

It’s for fun, exercise, and maybe a little self-improvement.

I’m not trying to be the next badass fighter.

I’ve been down that road in Hapkido decades ago.

I mean who the hell am I kidding.

I’m a 58yo 120# retired electrician, I’m doing BJJ to stave off dementia and old age, not be a UFC fighter, LMAO!

a close up of a black bear with its mouth open in front of a cloudy sky .
Fenrir attacking The Hulk in Thor: Ragnarök

But there’s a part of me, a side I call my black wolf—Fenrir—that comes out when I feel threatened and not safe.

The problem is, when Fenrir wakes up, I’m not always in control, I get hijacked by the amygdala version of myself – the fight, flight, freeze instinct.

And more often than I like to admit, it’s the fight that comes out.

So, we’re drilling, and it’s the purple belt’s turn to attack.

He mounts me and traps my arms between our bodies.

I’m pinned, and then he uses his rash guard to cover my mouth and nose, waterboarding me, suffocating me with the sweat-soaked fabric.

I can’t breathe.

My hands are stuck, I can’t yell “tap,” and it doesn’t occur to me to tap with my feet.

In that moment, the fear took over, and I snapped.

My mind went blank, and all I could think about was getting out of that situation, and getting him off of me, no matter what.

Somehow, I freed my left arm and instinctively started punching him in the ribs.

I didn’t go full force, but I hit him hard enough to get his attention, to get him off me.

He backed off immediately, got off of me and walked away, and I was yelling, “I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t tap!”

Tempers flared for a moment, and then the coach stepped in, reminding me, “We don’t hit in here!”

(Funny sidebar: There’s only two martial arts I’ve practiced that don’t do strikes, aikido and BJJ. Energetically, they feel very different in their “No striking” philosophy, aikido being almost 100% defensive and BJJ, we attack differently, lol)

I knew I messed up.

I wasn’t thinking straight.

My fear had turned me into something I didn’t want to be—a snapping Chihuahua, out of control and driven by panic.

Facing the Reality of Fear

Let’s be honest: nobody likes to talk about fear.

Especially in a place like the dojo, where strength, discipline, and control are valued above all else.

But fear is a real thing.

It’s that tightness in your chest, the sweat on your brow, the racing heartbeat.

It’s the part of you that says, “I can’t handle this,” even when you’ve spent years training to be able to handle anything.

Fear is what makes you hesitate, what makes you doubt, what makes you snap when you least expect it.

And the worst part?

It’s not just the fear of getting hurt or losing; it’s the fear of losing control.

The fear of becoming someone you don’t recognize.

That day, on the mat, I was face to face with my fear.

And it won.

It made me lash out, made me break the rules, made me forget everything I’ve worked so hard to learn.

It made me feel weak, vulnerable, and ashamed.

But here’s the thing: fear is a part of training.

It’s a part of life.

You can’t escape it, and you can’t ignore it.

You have to face it, over and over again, until you understand it, until you learn to control it, until you can make peace with it.

Turning Fear into Growth

After the incident, I quickly calmed down I did what you’re supposed to do—I apologized.

I made sure the purple belt was okay, and I made it clear that I wasn’t trying to hurt him, that I just panicked.

And you know what?

He got it.

He’s been there too, and so has everyone else in that dojo.

One of the brown belts pulled me aside after class and told me,

“It’s all good. It’s part of training. We’ve all been there. I’ve done worse.”

And that’s the beauty of the dojo.

It’s a place where you’re allowed to fuck up.

You’re allowed to lose control, to make mistakes, to let your fear get the better of you.

Because that’s how you learn.

That’s how you grow.

We all fist-bumped at the end of class, and I hugged it out with the purple belt.

We’re still training together, and now we’ve got a better understanding of each other.

He knows where my limits are, and I know that I need to work on keeping my cool, even when things get intense.

But more than that, I learned something about myself that day.

I realized that as a kid who suffered terribly with asthma and who often got dragged down by the waves while surfing in Hawaii, I have a big fear of not being able to breathe.

That fear is more powerful than my fear of the pain of joint locks or even the fear of going unconscious, and I need to be aware of it so I don’t over-react and lash out at my training partners.

I learned that fear is still there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to pounce.

I learned that I need to keep working on controlling that fear, on keeping Fenrir in check.

And I learned that the dojo is a place where I can do that, where I can face my fear head-on, without judgment, without shame.

Because everyone there is on the same journey.

We’re all fighting our own battles, all facing our own fears, and all working towards the same goal: growth.

Embracing the Process

This isn’t just about BJJ or martial arts.

It’s about life.

It’s about recognizing that fear is always going to be a part of the process, whether you’re on the mat, in the office, or at home with your family.

Fear is there to test you, to push you, to make you stronger.

But you can’t let it control you.

You can’t let it dictate your actions.

You have to find a way to face it, to understand it, and to use it to your advantage.

For me, that means staying calm under pressure, even when it feels like I’m drowning.

It means remembering that I’m not alone, that I have a community around me that supports me, that’s been through the same struggles, and that’s there to help me grow.

It also means embracing the fact that I’m not perfect, that I’m going to mess up, that I’m going to have bad days, and that I’m going to lose control sometimes.

And that’s okay.

Because it’s all part of the process.

The dojo is a place where you’re allowed to be vulnerable, to be human, to face your fears and come out stronger on the other side.

It’s a place where you learn that growth doesn’t come from always getting it right; it comes from fucking up, from losing control, from facing your darkest moments and coming back the next day to do it all over again.

Join the Journey

If you’ve ever been afraid, if you’ve ever lost control, if you’ve ever felt like you’ve let yourself down—know that you’re not alone.

We’ve all been there.

And the only way to get better, to grow, to become the person you want to be, is to keep going.

To keep training, keep pushing, keep facing your fears, no matter how hard it gets.

The dojo is a microcosm of life.

It’s a place where you can test yourself, where you can fail, where you can learn, and where you can grow.

It’s where you learn that fear isn’t something to be avoided; it’s something to be embraced, understood, and ultimately, conquered.

So, if you’re ready to face your fears, if you’re ready to grow, if you’re ready to join a community of people who are all on the same journey—then step onto the mat.

Whether it’s in a dojo, in your career, or in your personal life, take that first step.

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up, every day, ready to learn, ready to grow, and ready to become the person you were meant to be.

Because in the end, it’s not the fear that defines you—it’s what you do with it.

Ready to take the next step?

Ready to face your fears?

​Join us.​

Let’s grow together.

What Most People Don’t Understand About Prosperity

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Misunderstanding Prosperity

When people think about prosperity, they usually imagine wealth—more money, a bigger house, a nicer car.

In their minds, prosperity is synonymous with having more than others.

It’s about being the top dog, the one with the most toys, the one who stands out in a crowd.

But here’s the kicker: that’s not real prosperity.

That’s a shallow version of success that only scratches the surface of what’s possible.

True prosperity isn’t about stacking up your wins against someone else’s losses.

It’s not about being the richest guy in the room.

It’s about something deeper, something more meaningful.

Real prosperity is about not short-changing yourself, about fulfilling your potential, and about becoming everything you’re capable of being.

It’s about growing into the person you’re meant to be, without limitations.

Take a moment and think about it: what’s the point of having more than others if you’re still not everything you could be?

You can be rich and still feel poor because you’re living beneath your potential.

You’re limiting yourself based on someone else’s definition of success.

But why?

Who says you have to settle for less than what you’re capable of?

The Real Cost of Settling

Let’s get real for a second.

How often do you catch yourself playing small?

Maybe it’s out of fear;

  • fear of failure

  • fear of judgment

  • fear of outgrowing the people around you
Tree with a huge canopy

Or maybe it’s because you don’t want to come off as arrogant or greedy.

But let me ask you this: Who told you that you can only grow so big?

There’s a saying that goes,

“God did not tell the tree, ‘You can only grow so big.’”

Think about that for a minute.

The tree doesn’t worry about being taller than the tree next to it.

It just grows as tall as it can.

It reaches for the sky without holding back. It doesn’t apologize for its size or its strength.

It doesn’t shrink itself down to make the other trees feel better.

It just grows.

But you?

You’re holding back.

You’re playing it safe.

You’re choosing to live small because you’re afraid of what it means to live big.

You’re worried about standing out, about leaving others behind, about being “too much.”

And that’s a problem because the world needs you to be everything you can be.

The world needs you to grow as big as you can, not just for yourself, but for everyone around you.

Here’s the harsh truth:

When you settle, you’re not just short-changing yourself—you’re short-changing the people who depend on you, too.

You’re missing out on the opportunity to make a bigger impact, to help others in a meaningful way.

The best way to help the poor isn’t to be one of them.

It’s to rise above, to create abundance in your life so you can lift others up with you.

If you’re struggling to keep your own head above water, how can you help someone else who’s drowning?

Embrace Your Full Potential

So, what’s the solution?

​Stop playing small.​

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Stop letting fear dictate how far you go.

Start embracing your full potential, whatever that looks like for you.

You have to shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance.

Scarcity says, “If I win, someone else loses.”

Abundance says, “There’s enough for everyone to win.”

Scarcity says, “I don’t want to outshine others.”

Abundance says, “My success inspires others to succeed too.”
A large group of people enjoying the shade of a tree

When you operate from abundance, you realize that there’s no cap on how much you can grow, achieve, and become.

Think about it: when you grow to your fullest, you don’t just elevate yourself—you elevate everyone around you.

You become a beacon, a light that guides others out of the darkness.

You show them what’s possible, and you give them permission to grow too.

That’s the kind of prosperity that matters.

It’s not about hoarding wealth; it’s about creating it, sharing it, multiplying it.

Look, this isn’t just some feel-good mantra.

This is a strategy—a way to build real, lasting prosperity.

You need to put yourself in a position where you can help others, not because you have more than them, but because you’re fully living out your potential.

When you’re operating at your highest level, you create opportunities for others to do the same.

You lift others by lifting yourself.

Let’s talk practical steps:

  1. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs: What’s holding you back? What stories are you telling yourself that keep you from growing? Maybe it’s fear of failure, fear of success, or fear of judgment. Whatever it is, confront it. You can’t grow until you break through those mental barriers.

  2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: You’re not in competition with anyone but yourself. The only comparison that matters is who you are today versus who you were yesterday. Focus on your growth, your progress, your journey.

  3. Set Big Goals: Don’t be afraid to dream big. Set goals that scare you, that push you, that force you to grow. Remember, you’re not here to play small—you’re here to reach your full potential.

  4. Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People: The people around you matter. If you’re surrounded by people who think small, you’ll think small too. Seek out those who challenge you, who inspire you, who push you to be your best.

  5. Give Back from a Place of Abundance: Once you start to grow, don’t forget to give back. But give from a place of abundance, not scarcity. Help others because you want to, not because you feel obligated. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Becoming a True Prosperity Creator

Imagine this: You’ve broken free from the limitations you’ve put on yourself.

You’re no longer playing small.

You’ve embraced your full potential, and you’re living a life of abundance.

You’re not just successful—you’re fulfilled. You’re not just wealthy—you’re prosperous in every sense of the word.

Now, think about the impact you can have.

You’re in a position to help others, to lift them up, to guide them toward their own prosperity.

You’re creating opportunities, not just for yourself, but for everyone around you.

That’s what true prosperity is about.

It’s not about having more than others; it’s about becoming more, so you can do more for others.

When you stop short-changing yourself, you stop short-changing the world.

You step into your full power, and you start to create real change.

You become the person you were always meant to be, and in doing so, you give others the permission to do the same.

That’s the ripple effect of true prosperity.

It starts with you, but it doesn’t end there.

You see, prosperity isn’t a zero-sum game.

It’s not about winning at someone else’s expense.

It’s about creating a world where everyone can win, where everyone can grow, where everyone can thrive.

And it starts with you deciding to grow as big as you possibly can, without limitations, without apologies.

So, the next time you catch yourself playing small, remember this: God didn’t tell the tree, “You can only grow so big.”

And He didn’t tell you that either.

You have permission to grow, to succeed, to prosper.

Don’t waste that gift.

Embrace it.

Live it.

Share it.

And when you do, you’ll find that prosperity isn’t about having more than others.

It’s about not short-changing yourself—and, in turn, not short-changing the world.