The Most Powerful Hapkido Technique

When I first stepped into the dojang to learn hapkido, I was eager to master the kicks, punches, and throws that the martial art is renowned for.

I imagined myself perfecting complex techniques, wielding weapons, and becoming physically invincible.

​My instructor, a seasoned black belt, was everything I aspired to be.

I anticipated that the most important lesson he would impart would be some sophisticated move that would transform me into a martial arts maestro.

However, the lesson that changed my life was something far more profound and introspective — an inner journey toward self-love and acceptance.

One day, my instructor offered me an unexpected exercise.

It wasn’t a physical drill or a demonstration of martial prowess.

Instead, it was a task that required me to confront myself on a deeply personal level.

He asked me to go into my bathroom, close the door, stand in front of the mirror, and simply say three words: “I love you.”

I was supposed to say these words, send them with sincerity, and receive them as though they were coming from someone I truly cherished.

At first, this seemed trivial and odd.

How could such a simple exercise hold any real significance?

The Challenge of Self-Reflection

The first few times I tried this exercise, I did it half-heartedly.

Standing in front of the mirror, I felt awkward and self-conscious.

I laughed nervously, dismissing the exercise as foolish.

What kind of martial arts training was this?

My discomfort soon turned to a more profound unease.

As I continued to repeat the words, “I love you,” I began to confront deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, and self-loathing.

Each time I spoke, tears welled up in my eyes, and I felt an overwhelming urge to look away.

It’s easy to say “I love you” to someone else, but saying it to myself felt different.

I realized that I had spent years building up emotional armor, protecting myself from the metaphorical sticks and stones thrown at me since childhood.

This armor was composed of insecurities, regrets, and perceived failures.

The exercise was forcing me to confront the defensive walls I had erected, and it was uncomfortable, even painful.

Breaking Down the Barriers

Over the weeks and months, I persisted with the exercise.

Gradually, the laughter faded, and the discomfort lessened.

Bit by bit, I chipped away at the defenses I had built over a lifetime.

I began to see beyond the imperfections and criticisms that had clouded my self-perception.

Slowly, the armor started melting away, revealing the person beneath — a person worthy of love and acceptance.

This transformation didn’t happen overnight.

It was a gradual process that required patience and persistence.

Each day, I stood in front of that mirror, looking myself in the eye and reaffirming my worth.

And with each repetition of those three simple words, “I love you,” I felt a shift within me.

I began to see myself not as a collection of flaws and failures, but as a whole person, deserving of compassion and kindness.

I began to see the beauty in my own soul, warts and all, and I embraced it.

The Power of Self-Love

What I learned through this exercise was that self-love is not a destination, but a continuous journey.

It is an ongoing practice of embracing oneself with all the flaws and imperfections.

Self-love is not about arrogance or self-centeredness; it is about acknowledging your inherent worth and treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a dear friend.

This inner transformation profoundly affected my relationships with others.

It was only after I learned to love and accept myself that I was able to extend genuine love and acceptance to those around me.

My relationship with my wife improved as I became more open and vulnerable.

I began to appreciate her strengths and accept her imperfections, just as I had learned to do with myself.

I started seeing people in a new light. The stranger on the street, the homeless person yelling angrily at the world — they were no longer just faceless figures.

I could see them as individuals, each with their own struggles and stories, deserving of empathy and compassion.

The Ripple Effect of Acceptance

The realization that self-love is the foundation for loving others was transformative.

It is impossible to give what you do not possess.

If you cannot accept yourself, how can you accept others?

If you cannot forgive yourself, how can you forgive others?

True, wholehearted love begins within.

It radiates outward, touching every aspect of your life.

This lesson from my hapkido instructor became the cornerstone of my personal growth.

It taught me that the greatest battles are often fought within ourselves, and the most powerful victories are those that lead to inner peace and acceptance.

The practice of self-love is a continuous journey, one that requires courage, vulnerability, and persistence.

It is about embracing your humanity and recognizing that you are enough, just as you are.

A Call to Action

I urge you to embark on this journey of self-love and acceptance.

Find a quiet moment, go into your bathroom, close the door, and stand in front of the mirror.

Look into your own eyes and say, “I love you.”

Say it with sincerity.

Allow yourself to send and receive those words.

It may feel awkward at first, but with time, it will become a powerful affirmation.

Repeat this exercise regularly, and watch as it transforms your relationship with yourself and others.

As you learn to love and accept yourself wholeheartedly, you will find that your capacity to love and accept others will expand.

You will become more compassionate, more understanding, and more connected to the world around you.

In Conclusion

The lesson I learned from my hapkido instructor was not about mastering a particular technique or move; it was about mastering the art of self-love and acceptance.

This lesson has enriched my life beyond measure.

It has given me the strength to face challenges with resilience, the courage to be vulnerable, and the wisdom to appreciate the beauty in myself and others.

So, take the first step on this inner journey. Look yourself in the mirror, and speak those three little words: “I love you.”

Embrace the journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, and experience the profound impact it can have on your life.