Personal Development Archives

The 3 Groups of People Who Will Shape (or Break) Your Dream Journey

December 6, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

Why Pursuing Your Dreams Can Feel Lonely—And Why That’s a Good Thing

Have you ever felt like pursuing your dreams makes you stand out in all the wrong ways?

Maybe you’ve started a side hustle, picked up a new skill, or decided to finally chase that big, audacious goal you’ve always kept on the back burner.

Only to find yourself swimming upstream against waves of criticism, doubt, or even quiet indifference.

It feels isolating.

Lonely, even.

Like the world isn’t built for dreamers.

But what if I told you this isn’t a bad thing?

What if the resistance you feel isn’t a sign you’re on the wrong path, but proof that you’re walking a road fewer people dare to tread?

The truth is, as you go through life and chase your dreams, you’ll run into three types of people.

Once you recognize who’s who, the journey gets simpler—not easier, but clearer.

And when clarity kicks in, so does freedom:

to dream bigger

the freedom to move forward

to let go of the baggage that’s been weighing you down

Let’s unpack the lesson that’s taken me nearly five decades—and countless trials, setbacks, and comebacks—to learn.

Group 1: The Critics

Picture this.

Do you feel like that one fish going against everybody else?

You’re excited about a new goal.

Maybe you’ve started sharing your dreams with a few people.

The response?

A snarky remark here, a side-eye there, or the classic backhanded compliment:

“Wow, that’s ambitious. Are you sure you can pull it off?”

These are the critics, and they are everywhere.

Not because you’re doing something wrong, but because your ambition unsettles them.

Whether they realize it or not, your determination to chase your goals shines a spotlight on their own inaction.

You see it in the coworker who laughs off your business idea.

In the old friend who asks why you’re “wasting time” on your creative pursuits.

In the stranger online who feels compelled to tear you down for daring to be different.

At first, it stings.

You might even wonder if they’re right.

But here’s the secret.

Critics aren’t mirrors.

They don’t reflect your reality; they project their fears.

The longer you chase your goals, the more you’ll notice this pattern.

Critics will try to pull you down because it’s easier than climbing up themselves.

They’re not bad people, necessarily—they’re just stuck in their own fear, unwilling to take risks or step out of their comfort zone.

The lesson here isn’t to fight them or prove them wrong.

It’s to let them be.

You can’t change their mindset, and it’s not your job to.

Your job is to keep climbing, leaving the critics behind.

Group 2: The Companions

Now imagine this.

You’ve found your tribe.

A few like-minded dreamers who understand what it’s like to go against the grain.

They’re building businesses, creating art, pursuing fitness goals—whatever their dreams might be.

And for a while, it feels like you’ve hit the jackpot.

These are the companions.

They’re the ones who get it.

The ones who cheer you on, swap stories of triumph and struggle, and inspire you to keep going.

But here’s where it gets tricky.

Not everyone who starts the journey with you will finish it.

Life happens.

Goals shift.

Some companions will get sidetracked, worn down by setbacks, or lured back into comfort zones.

You might hear things like:

“I had to pause my dream for the kids.”
“Work’s too busy right now. I’ll come back to it later.”
Or the classic: “I realized it just wasn’t practical anymore.”

And maybe, for them, that’s true.

Everyone has their reasons.

But as you watch companions drop off one by one, it’s easy to feel disheartened.

Here’s the truth.

Your companions are essential, but they aren’t permanent.

Some will stay with you for years; others for only a season.

The key is to value them while they’re with you but not let their departure derail you.

Think of it like hiking a mountain.

You might start with a group of ten, but as the trail gets steeper, some will turn back.

That’s okay.

Keep climbing.

The ones who are meant to go the distance will meet you at the summit.

Group 3: The Leaders

Finally, there’s the rarest group of all: the leaders.

These are the 1 in 10,000.

The ones who have not only chased their dreams but caught them—and kept running.

They’re the trailblazers, the visionaries, the people you look at and think, Wow, they’ve figured it out.

At first, these people might intimidate you.

They’re further along the path, and their success can feel like an impossible standard.

But don’t mistake their position for perfection.

Every leader you meet has faced the same struggles you’re going through now:

the critics

the setbacks

the moments of self-doubt

What sets them apart isn’t talent or luck—it’s persistence.

Leaders keep going when others quit.

They adapt, evolve, and learn from every stumble.

These are the people you want to surround yourself with.

They’re proof that your dreams are possible, and they’ll challenge you to aim higher than you thought you could.

But here’s the thing.

Leaders won’t chase you.

They don’t have time for people who aren’t serious about the climb.

To earn their respect, you have to show you’re committed.

That means putting in the work, even when it’s hard.

It means pushing through the loneliness, trusting that you’ll find your fellow travelers at the top.

When you do, hold on to them.

Learn from them.

Support them.

And if the time comes to part ways, let them go with gratitude.

A Quiet Truth: Loneliness on the Path

Here’s something no one tells you about chasing your dreams.

It’s a lonely road.

Not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because the higher you climb, the fewer people you’ll meet who are willing to climb with you.

At first, this loneliness can feel crushing.

But over time, you’ll realize it’s a gift.

It forces you to focus.

To get clear on your goals.

To stop worrying about what others think and start living for yourself.

And when you do meet those rare, extraordinary people who are climbing alongside you, the connection is all the more powerful.

Because you know how hard it is to be where you are.

You know what it takes.

Freedom at the Summit

So what’s the takeaway?

You’ll meet three groups of people on your journey:

Critics who pull you down

Companions who walk beside you for a while

Leaders who inspire you and can help you to rise higher

Each group plays a role. The critics teach you resilience. The companions remind you that you’re not alone. And the leaders show you what’s possible.

But the real freedom comes when you stop letting any of these groups define you.

The critics?

Let them talk.

The companions?

Love them while they’re here, but don’t rely on them to finish the journey with you.

The leaders?

Learn from them, but don’t compare yourself to their path—it’s uniquely theirs, just as yours is uniquely yours.

Your dreams are yours to chase.

Your mountain is yours to climb.

And when you reach the summit, you’ll look back and see the journey wasn’t just about achieving a goal.

It was about becoming the person who had the courage to keep climbing.

So here’s your challenge.

Start today.

Take the next step, no matter how small.

And if the critics start to jeer or the companions start to fade, remember this: You’re not alone.

You’re just part of the rare few brave enough to keep climbing.

And at the summit, the view is worth it.

Fear Regret More Than Failure: Take the First Step Today

November 27, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

Crawl Before You Run: Building Confidence, One Step at a Time

Imagine this.

It’s ten years from now.

You’re sitting alone, thinking about your life.

The memories flood in—not the ones of bold moves or thrilling victories, but the ones that never happened.

The words you didn’t say
The job you didn’t apply for
The risks you never took because you weren’t “confident enough”

The feeling hits you—fear, not of failure but of regret.

A life lived within safe boundaries, where fear of taking the first step outweighed the joy of the journey.

But what if, ten years from now, the story you remember is different?

What if you looked back and saw not perfection, but progress?

Not a life without fear, but a life lived despite it?

Here’s the truth: Confidence isn’t some magical trait you’re born with or stumble upon one day.

It’s built step by step, fall by fall, much like a toddler learning to walk.

And you can start today.

The Myth of Instant Confidence

Think back to when you were a kid.

Maybe you were learning to ride a bike.

At first, it was terrifying—wobbly handlebars, scraped knees, the constant fear of falling.

Did you hop on and immediately ride like the wind?

Of course not.

You started slow, hesitant.

Maybe with training wheels, maybe with someone steadying you from behind.

Somewhere along the way, you got the hang of it.

Not because you were fearless, but because you kept going despite the fear.

Confidence works the same way.

But here’s the catch: Most people believe they need confidence before they take action.

They wait for it to show up like a guest who’s perpetually late to the party.

They say, “I’ll assert myself once I feel confident.”

But here’s the irony: Confidence doesn’t come before action. It comes after.

Every time you take a step—however small—you prove to yourself that you’re capable.

You don’t need to convince anyone else, just you.

And with each step, your confidence grows.

Missed Opportunities Are the Real Monsters

Picture yourself standing at the edge of a pool.

You’re afraid to jump.

Maybe the water looks too deep, or you’re worried about how cold it will be.

You watch as others leap in, laughing, splashing, living.

The longer you wait, the harder it gets.

And here’s the cruel twist: It’s not just the fear of jumping that weighs on you anymore—it’s the regret of not jumping.

That’s how life works.

The opportunities you let pass by don’t just vanish; they stick with you, quietly whispering in the back of your mind.

Over time, fear of action turns into something worse: shame and guilt.

The good news?

You don’t have to live that way.

Start Small: The Toddler Method

If the idea of taking bold action feels overwhelming, that’s okay.

Nobody runs a marathon their first day out.

Start where you are—crawl if you have to.

Think about a toddler learning to walk.

They don’t worry about looking silly or falling.

They try, they fall, they laugh, they try again.

It’s messy, sure.

But every stumble brings them closer to standing tall.

The beauty of starting small is that it lowers the stakes.

Afraid to speak up in a meeting?

Start by sharing one small idea.

Nervous about asking someone out?

Begin with a friendly hello.

Over time, these tiny steps add up.

You’re building not just confidence, but resilience.

Real-Life Example: The Fall That Taught Me to Fly

Let me share a story.

At 59, I look back and see plenty of moments where I felt like that toddler—crawling, stumbling, unsure.

One that stands out is when I first started learning martial arts.

I was terrified to step onto the mat.

Everyone else seemed to know what they were doing. I, on the other hand, felt completely out of my depth.

My first few lessons were humbling.

I tripped.

I fell.

I literally had nightmares of sparring my classmates.

But here’s the thing: I kept showing up.

I focused on small wins—learning how to break a fall, practicing footwork to move out of the way, perfecting a single technique.

Each time I walked off the mat, I felt a little stronger, a little braver.

Years later, I earned my black belt.

Not because I was fearless, but because I learned to crawl, then walk, then run.

Why Crawling Is Powerful

Starting small does something magical: It shifts your mindset.

When you start crawling, the voice in your head—the one that says “you can’t do this”—gets quieter.

You realize that falling isn’t the end of the world.

In fact, it’s part of the process.

Small steps compound.

One leads to another, and soon, the thing that once felt impossible becomes second nature.

The best part?

Crawling isn’t just for beginners.

Even the most successful people use this approach.

They don’t leap blindly into the unknown; they start with what they can manage, building momentum as they go.

The Confidence You’re Looking For Is Already Inside You

Here’s the truth: You don’t need to wait for confidence to show up before you start living boldly.

You don’t need a perfect plan or a guarantee of success.

All you need is the courage to take the first step.

Start small.

Crawl if you must.

Speak up in one conversation.

Say yes to one opportunity.

Write one sentence, make one call, take one chance.

You won’t transform overnight.

But one day, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come—not with regret, but with pride.

And when that day comes, you’ll realize something powerful: Confidence isn’t something you find.

It’s something you create.

So, what’s your first step?

Is Your Daily Routine Building Your Dreams or Digging Your Grave?

November 22, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

The Power of Habit:
Your Greatest Ally or Your Silent Saboteur

There’s a force in your life right now that works tirelessly, without judgment, without rest.

It doesn’t care whether you succeed or fail, thrive or flounder.

It’s at your command, for better or worse.

This force has built empires, toppled dreams, and shaped the lives of everyone you’ve ever admired—or pitied.

You might not notice it, but it notices you.

It’s your silent shadow.

And whether you realize it or not, it’s leading you somewhere.

That force?

Habit.

What if you could harness it, shape it, and make it your greatest ally?

What if, instead of being at the mercy of your habits, you became the master of them?

This is where the magic begins.

The Invisible Architect of Your Life

Picture this.

You wake up

Brush your teeth

Grab a coffee

Scroll through your phone

Head to work

These actions happen almost on autopilot.

You don’t think about them, yet they define the rhythm of your day.

Now zoom out.

Look at your life not in days but in years.

Those small, seemingly insignificant routines compound.

They’re bricks in the architecture of your life.

Each action builds the foundation for where you are right now.

Maybe you’re proud of that foundation—successful, confident, moving forward.

Or maybe there’s a sense of frustration, a quiet voice asking, Why am I still stuck here?

Here’s the secret: Your habits brought you here.

They’ve been working silently in the background, either building your dream home or digging a hole beneath your feet.

The Double-Edged Sword

Let me tell you about a day on the mat.

It’s been over a week since I’ve trained in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

My shoulder’s been bugging me (again!), and if I went to a doctor, they’d give me the usual advice: ice it, rest, and take it easy.

But that hasn’t stopped me from showing up to class every day at noon.

Why?

Because it’s a habit.

When I can’t roll, I sit on the sidelines and watch.

Yesterday, I watched a purple belt moving like a Weeble-Wobble—making it nearly impossible for his opponent to secure hooks.

I analyzed

I took notes

I came up with new drills

This daily habit isn’t just about showing up; it’s about finding ways to improve, no matter the circumstances.

And that’s the double-edged sword of habit.

It can either push you forward or hold you back.

Imagine if my habit had been the opposite.

What if, instead of showing up, I let the injury become an excuse?

What if I spent the week on the couch, indulging in self-pity and Netflix?

That habit would compound, too.

And the result wouldn’t be drills or insights—it’d be stagnation and frustration.

The 1% Compounding Effect

A little bit each day compounds both good and bad

Let’s talk about math for a second.

If you improve by just 1% every day, you won’t be twice as good by the end of the year.

You’ll be 37 times better.

That’s the power of compounding in action.

Now flip it.

What happens if you let yourself slide by 1% every day?

That doesn’t just keep you stagnant—it sends you into a downward spiral.

The small things add up, whether they’re building or breaking you.

Habits aren’t loud or dramatic.

They’re quiet, consistent, and relentless.

A donut here, skipping the gym there—it doesn’t seem like much in the moment.

But over time?

It’s the difference between thriving and surviving.

Building the Habits That Serve You

How do you turn this relentless force into your ally?

It starts with awareness.

Here’s a simple exercise:

Audit Your Current Habits: Spend a day observing yourself. What do you do automatically? Are these habits helping or hurting you? Write them down. No judgment, just awareness.

Choose One Keystone Habit: Not all habits are created equal. Some have a ripple effect, influencing everything else. For me, showing up at noon to train BJJ is a keystone habit. It keeps me disciplined, sharp, and in the right headspace. What’s yours? Maybe it’s working out, journaling, or eating a healthy breakfast. Start there.

Start Small, Stay Consistent: You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Focus on 1% improvement. Want to read more? Start with one page. Want to exercise? Do five push-ups. Consistency beats intensity every time.

Leverage the Environment: Your surroundings can either reinforce or undermine your habits. If you want to eat healthier, stock your fridge with the right foods. If you want to spend less time on your phone, leave it in another room during dinner.

Celebrate the Wins: Habits are like planting seeds. The results aren’t immediate, but they will grow. Celebrate the small victories, because they’re proof that you’re moving in the right direction.

When Habits Go Rogue

Here’s the thing about habits: they don’t care whether they’re good or bad for you.

They’ll work with the same precision to push you forward or drag you down.

Think about the habits that feel harmless but are eroding your foundation.

Scrolling through social media for hours.

Putting off that project one more day.

Letting stress drive you to unhealthy comforts.

The good news?

Habits can be retrained.

Just like you can teach a dog new tricks, you can teach your mind new routines.

It starts with a choice.

You decide what kind of life you want to build.

Then you let your habits do the heavy lifting.

The Fun Side of Habits

Habits don’t have to be a grind.

In fact, they’re a lot more powerful when they’re fun.

Here’s a trick: gamify your habits.

Track your progress with a simple chart. Check off each day you stick to your new habit. There’s something satisfying about seeing a streak grow.

Set rewards for milestones. Maybe 10 workouts in a row earns you a guilt-free night of your favorite show.

Compete with yourself. How many steps can you take today? How many pages can you read this week?

When you approach habits with curiosity and playfulness, they become something to look forward to—not just another chore.

I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me,
and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men.
And, alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine.
Plus, the intelligence of a man.
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin; it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put the world at your feet.
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I am Habit!

Starting Today

Habits are like rivers.

Left unchecked, they’ll carve paths that might not lead where you want to go.

But with intention and effort, you can shape them into channels that carry you toward your dreams.

Take a moment to look at the habits shaping your life.

Are they pushing you onward or dragging you down?

The good news is, no matter where you are right now, you can start fresh.

Build one small habit today.

Show up for yourself tomorrow.

Let the compounding effect do the rest.

Because habits aren’t just routines.

They’re the architects of your life.

And when you take the time to train them, they can put the world at your feet.

So, what habit will you build today?

The choice—and the power—is yours.

How To Master the Physics of Magic

October 14, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how martial artists can break boards, bricks and bottles?

Breaking is a common exercise in martial arts to demonstrate the unification of body, mind, and spirit.

It is an opportunity for the practitioner to display how he can hone his complete focus to one specific task.

It is what takes the theoretical to the physical, and you can see this with any true expert of a particular art.

It’s why when we see some athletes doing the near-miraculous that leaves us with our jaws open and hearts soaring.

It’s how

The Leicester Foxes beat 5000-1 odds to win the Premiere Cup
The USA Olympic Hockey team beat the behemoth Soviet Union
Buster Douglas shocked the world KOing an invincible “Iron” Mike Tyson

video preview

And this power is not only for those elite few.

But for anybody willing to hone and own this power.

Imagine a world where your thoughts, words, and actions are not just random occurrences but are manifestations of energy, vibrating at different frequencies.

This might sound like something from a sci-fi movie, but it’s ancient wisdom, known to Indian Hindu scientists thousands of years ago.

The principles they explored millennia before modern technology even existed are now being validated by cutting-edge science.

Fritjof Capra, a renowned physicist, famously explored this connection between ancient spirituality and modern quantum physics in his book The Tao of Physics.

His work, alongside others, highlights a reality that spiritual traditions have long understood: everything in the universe is energy, and this energy takes form through vibration and frequency.

So what does this mean for you?

The thoughts you think, the words you speak, and the actions you take are all energetic expressions of your consciousness.

And the density, intensity, and intention behind them determine how far you can go in life.

Success doesn’t start with some external event—it begins with the energy you create from within.

Let’s explore how energy shapes your reality and how you can harness it for your own growth.

Connection is the Key

We live in a world obsessed with outcomes—chasing money, success, relationships, and happiness.

But we often fail to address the most critical aspect of getting what we want: the energy behind our thoughts and actions.

Have you ever felt stuck, despite working hard, saying the right things, or even being in the right place at the right time?

Maybe you’ve experienced moments of clarity when everything seemed to fall into place, but they were fleeting.

What makes the difference between those rare, magical moments and the mundane reality where things don’t work out?

It comes down to the density and intensity of your energy.

Most people don’t realize that their thoughts, words, and actions are disconnected.

They’re thinking one thing, saying another, and doing something entirely different.

This disconnect dilutes your energy, causing confusion in the universe and slowing down your progress.

Let’s break it down:

Thoughts are the seeds of everything you create. But they’re fleeting, ephemeral. Without focus, they scatter in all directions like sand in the wind.
Words are more tangible, but if they’re not backed by belief, they’re empty vessels.
Actions bring thoughts into the physical realm, but without intention, they often lead nowhere.

Most people struggle because they haven’t aligned their thoughts, words, and actions to vibrate at the same frequency.

Most People Live Out of Alignment

This lack of alignment is why so many people live in a state of frustration, disappointment, and unfulfilled potential.

You can feel it when you’re not in sync with yourself, and it shows up in all areas of your life.

Maybe you’ve been working on a project or goal, but progress is painstakingly slow. You wonder if you’re wasting your time, but deep down, you feel like you’re meant for more.
Or you’ve found yourself speaking about your dreams, making bold declarations, but nothing seems to come to fruition. Despite all the talk, you’re still stuck in the same place, year after year.
Perhaps you’ve even taken significant action—made investments, started a business, or worked toward a career change. But the results you envisioned are nowhere to be found.

This inconsistency between what you think, what you say, and what you do creates an energetic dissonance.

It’s like tuning into multiple radio stations at once—you end up hearing nothing but static.

But here’s the harsh reality: the universe doesn’t respond to scattered, inconsistent energy.

If your thoughts are scattered, your words are uncommitted, and your actions are half-hearted, the energy you project into the world is weak and fragmented.

You’ll always get back what you put out, and if what you’re putting out is incoherent, you’ll receive confusion and delays in return.

You’re in a constant state of “almost” — almost succeeding, almost happy, almost satisfied.

W. H. Murray famously said,

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!””

What most people don’t realize is that this commitment is not just about taking action—it’s about committing your energy, fully aligning your thoughts, words, and actions to a singular focus.

Aligning the Head, Heart, and Gut

So how do you overcome this?

How do you move from scattered, weak energy to focused, intentional, and aligned energy that propels you forward?

It starts with understanding that everything is energy.

When you become aware of this fundamental truth, you realize that every thought, word, and action you take carries weight.

Every time you let your thoughts drift or fail to follow through on your words, you weaken your energetic force.

The goal is to become a master of your energy, to align your thoughts, words, and actions so they vibrate at the same frequency.

Here’s how you can begin:

Master Your Thoughts

Your mind is the starting point for everything you create in life.

Thoughts are where your energy begins to take shape.

But as we know, thoughts are fleeting and can be difficult to control.

That’s why countless ancient teachings, from As a Man Thinketh to Think and Grow Rich, emphasize controlling your mind.

If you want to change your life, you must first control your thoughts.

Focus on what you want, not what you fear. Most people waste their mental energy worrying about what could go wrong. The more energy you give to those thoughts, the more likely they are to manifest.
Practice mental discipline. Train your mind to stay focused on a single thought for extended periods. Meditation, visualization, and journaling can help you sharpen this skill. The longer you hold a thought, the more power it gains.
Speak with Intention: Words are not just sound; they are energy that carries your thoughts into the world. If your words lack conviction or are filled with doubt, you weaken the power of your thoughts. When you speak, speak with the intention to create. Your words should reinforce your thoughts, not contradict them.
- Speak in alignment with your goals. Don’t talk about what you’re going to do someday. Talk as if it’s already happening. This creates a mental shift that primes you for action.
- Eliminate negative language. Every time you say, “I can’t,” “I’m not,” or “It’s too hard,” you’re sending energy that weakens your resolve. Replace those words with empowering language that aligns with what you want to create.
Take Bold, Aligned Action: Thought and words alone won’t create change—action is the final step in the manifestation process. But not just any action. You need bold, decisive action that aligns with your thoughts and words.
- Commit fully. Half-hearted actions yield half-hearted results. When you decide to move, move with intensity. As W. H. Murray wrote, “Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”
- Trust the process. You may not see immediate results, but when your energy is aligned, the universe starts to work in your favor. As Murray also said, “Providence moves too.” Unforeseen opportunities, connections, and resources will appear to help you along your path.

Putting It All Together

Energy, frequency, and vibration are not just abstract ideas—they are the foundation of everything you experience in life.

Once you understand that every thought, word, and action carries energy, you can begin to consciously shape your reality.

The ancient Indian scientists knew this, long before particle accelerators and quantum physics validated their teachings.

And now you have the power to apply this wisdom in your own life.

If you want more success, happiness, or fulfillment, the first step is to become aware of your energy.

Are your thoughts aligned with your goals?
Do your words carry the intention of success?
Are your actions bold and aligned?

The more you align your thoughts, words, and actions with the energy of your desired outcome, the faster you will attract it.

As Arthur C. Clark stated;

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”

But it’s not magic—it’s physics.

The universe responds to focused, intentional energy, and when you commit fully, it commits right back.

So the next time you find yourself stuck or wondering why things aren’t working out, take a moment to check your energy.

Align your thoughts, words, and actions—and watch how the world shifts in your favor.

As W. H. Murray said, “Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

The question is,

Are you ready to step into that boldness?

If you want more success, more growth, or a deeper connection to your purpose, it starts with mastering your energy.

How to Get Ahead of 99% of People in Life and Work

October 3, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

Why Ancient Martial Arts Hold the Key to Solving Modern Problems for Young Men Today

In today’s fast-paced, digitally-driven world, young men face a new set of challenges that their fathers and grandfathers could hardly have imagined.

The blend of physical inactivity, fear, and uncertainty about the future has led to a crisis affecting health, mental well-being, and overall life satisfaction.

However, an ancient practice holds the key to addressing these modern problems: martial arts.

Martial arts are not just about self-defense; they are a way of life, a philosophy that builds discipline, resilience, and strength in body and mind.

The Crisis of Inactivity and Fear

Modern life, with all its conveniences, has created an environment where physical activity is no longer a necessity.

This sedentary lifestyle, often fueled by hours spent scrolling through social media or playing video games, is contributing to an alarming increase in health issues among young men.

According to the World Health Organization, more than 80% of the world’s adolescent population is insufficiently physically active, and young men are no exception.

To build a strong successful life, you need a strong body, mind and spirit

Physical Consequences

The effects of inactivity are stark and troubling.

The risk of obesity, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes is increasing among young men who spend most of their day sitting.

Beyond physical health, inactivity contributes to fatigue, low energy levels, and decreased motivation.

Here are some of the physical consequences of a sedentary lifestyle:

Weight Gain and Obesity – Sitting at a desk all day with minimal movement can lead to a calorie surplus, causing gradual weight gain over time.

Muscle Weakness and Atrophy – Lack of physical activity results in weaker muscles, making everyday tasks like climbing stairs or lifting objects harder.

Poor Posture and Back Pain – Prolonged sitting, especially with poor posture, can cause chronic back, neck, and shoulder pain.

Increased Risk of Heart Disease – Physical inactivity is linked to higher cholesterol levels and blood pressure, contributing to cardiovascular problems.

Reduced Flexibility and Mobility – Staying seated for long periods can stiffen joints and reduce range of motion, making movements like bending or stretching more difficult.

Increased Risk of Type 2 Diabetes – Sedentary behavior reduces insulin sensitivity, leading to higher blood sugar levels and increasing the risk of developing type 2 diabetes.

Bone Loss (Osteoporosis) – Without regular weight-bearing activities like walking or lifting, bones lose density, increasing the risk of fractures.

Increased Risk of Certain Cancers – Prolonged physical inactivity has been associated with a higher risk of colon, breast, and endometrial cancers.

Slowed Metabolism – Sitting for extended periods can reduce the body’s ability to break down fats and sugars, contributing to slower metabolism.

Decreased Circulation and Risk of Blood Clots – Prolonged sitting, especially during long flights or workdays, can lead to poor blood circulation and an increased risk of developing deep vein thrombosis (DVT).

Mental Consequences

Equally concerning is the rise of fear and anxiety.

In a world where images of perfection are broadcasted daily, young men are finding themselves trapped by the fear of failure and judgment.

Social media perpetuates a culture of comparison, where achievements are measured against carefully curated highlight reels, making the fear of not measuring up all the more intense.

Imagine waking up each day with a nagging sense of dread, knowing that your potential is wasted and your dreams are slipping away.

This fear-driven mindset can cripple decision-making, leading to missed opportunities and stunted growth.

Instead of facing challenges, many young men retreat to their comfort zones, trapped by the very fears they seek to escape.

Here are some mental consequences of a sedentary lifestyle:

Increased Risk of Depression – Prolonged inactivity can contribute to feelings of isolation and sadness. Someone who spends most of their time indoors without social interaction may experience a growing sense of disconnection and sadness.

Cognitive Decline – Lack of physical activity can impair memory, focus, and problem-solving skills. A person who sits at a desk all day may find it harder to concentrate or recall information as time goes on.

Anxiety – Sedentary behavior may increase stress levels, leading to anxiety. Without regular physical outlets for stress, a person may experience restlessness and worry, feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks.

Decreased Motivation – Physical inactivity can lead to a sense of lethargy and lack of drive to engage in tasks or goals. Someone who spends most of their day sitting in front of the TV may feel unmotivated to pursue hobbies or goals they once enjoyed.

Poor Sleep Quality – A sedentary lifestyle can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or restless sleep. A person who doesn’t get enough physical movement during the day may struggle to fall asleep at night and wake up feeling fatigued.

Low Self-Esteem – Reduced physical activity can affect body image and self-perception, leading to lower self-worth. Someone who avoids physical activity may become dissatisfied with their appearance and feel less confident in social situations.

Decreased Mental Resilience – A lack of regular physical exertion can reduce your ability to cope with stress and challenges. A person who doesn’t engage in physical activities might feel mentally drained or overwhelmed by setbacks that they would have previously handled better.

Emotional Instability – Sedentary behavior can negatively affect mood regulation, leading to more frequent mood swings. A person leading a sedentary lifestyle may feel irritable or angry without clear reasons, reacting more emotionally to small problems.

But here’s the thing: these problems don’t magically disappear with age.

Inactivity and fear will compound, turning into regret and unfulfilled potential if left unchecked.

The longer you allow these issues to persist, the more daunting they become, creating a cycle that is hard to break.

Martial Arts as a Solution

Enter martial arts—a discipline that offers a powerful counter to the modern malaise of inactivity and fear.

At its core, martial arts is about transformation: of the body, the mind, and the spirit.

It’s about learning to fight not just opponents, but also the battles within.

Physical Benefits

Martial arts training is an antidote to the sedentary lifestyle.

It is a full-body workout that builds strength, flexibility, and endurance.

Whether you’re practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or traditional karate, you’ll find yourself moving in dynamic ways that challenge every muscle group.

This physical exertion not only improves fitness but also boosts energy levels and enhances overall well-being.

I’ve seen this countless times in my decades on the mat.

Consider a young man who walks into a dojo for the first time.

He is out of shape, anxious, and unsure of himself. As he starts training, he feels muscles he didn’t know he had.

Each session leaves him sweating and exhausted, but with each drop of sweat, he sheds a layer of self-doubt.

He begins to stand a little taller, move with a little more purpose. His body becomes a vehicle of empowerment, a testament to his dedication and growth.

Mental Resilience

Beyond the physical, martial arts training is a mental journey.

Every punch, kick, and block is an opportunity to face and overcome fear.

In the dojo, failure is not something to be feared; it is embraced as a learning experience.

Every time you fall, you get back up. Every time you miss a target, you adjust and try again.

This process builds resilience, teaching you that setbacks are not the end but a stepping stone to success.

I can personally attest to this, as a physically small guy, I was always facing guys bigger and stronger than me.

On the mat, you face opponents who test your limits.

The fear of getting hit or taken down is real, but it’s also an opportunity to confront that fear head-on.

In doing so, you learn that fear is not an obstacle but a signal that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone.

With each sparring session, you develop a mental toughness that translates into everyday life.

You become more confident in your ability to face challenges, both big and small.

Emotional Growth

So many conflicts occur due to emotional insecurities or sensitivity.

Martial arts training allows you to experience the full range of your emotions on a regular basis.

From mind-numbing fear from sparring/rolling with more powerful partners.

To the joy of facing fear and coming through on the other side, not only better but also more confident for having faced your fears.

And most important, the comradery you feel with your fellow students as you work together to support and challenge each other to be better warriors, leaders, and human beings.

When I was younger, insecure and full of fear, every little challenge would set me off, either exploding in anger or cowering in fear.

But as I began to train, first in Aikido, then later Hapkido and other styles, I developed the emotional resilience and strength to better relax and not take things personally.

Things that would set me off when I was younger, like somebody bumping into me in public, not only didn’t bother me but it also helped me to develop the situational awareness to avoid such missteps in the first place.

And if little bumps did happen, I could happily and easily defuse the situation because I knew apologizing and checking to see if the other person was okay, in no way, took away from my strength or “manhood.”

Achieving Long-Term Goals

Martial arts is not about instant gratification; it’s about commitment and perseverance.

The journey from white belt to black belt is a long one, requiring years of practice, dedication, and hard work.

This path mirrors the journey of life, where achieving meaningful goals requires patience and persistence.

Discipline and Focus

Martial arts teach you the importance of discipline.

Training requires you to show up consistently, even on days when motivation is low.

This discipline becomes a habit that spills over into other areas of your life.

You learn to set goals, prioritize your time, and focus on what truly matters.

I knew this guy, let’s call him Alex, a young professional struggling to stay motivated at work.

After starting martial arts training, he noticed a shift in his mindset.

The discipline he cultivated on the mat began to influence his approach to work.

He became more organized, more efficient, and more determined to achieve his career goals.

The lessons learned in the dojo helped him rise to challenges, transforming him into a leader in his field.

Perseverance

In martial arts, progress is slow but steady.

There are no shortcuts to mastery.

This teaches you the value of perseverance—the ability to keep going despite setbacks and obstacles.

Whether you’re working towards a promotion or a personal goal, the perseverance you develop in martial arts will serve you well.

A hapkido classmate I’ll call Sarah, a student who struggled with self-doubt.

Through martial arts, she learned the importance of perseverance.

When she faced a particularly challenging technique, she didn’t give up.

Instead, she kept practicing, adjusting her approach until she succeeded.

This perseverance helped her not only in martial arts but also in her studies, where she overcame academic hurdles and achieved her dreams.

The Dojo: A Microcosm of Life

The lessons learned on the mat extend far beyond the dojo.

The dojo becomes a microcosm of life—a place where you learn to navigate challenges, build relationships, and develop the skills necessary for success in all areas of life.

Problem-Solving Skills

In martial arts, every movement is a problem to be solved.

You learn to analyze your opponent’s moves, anticipate their next step, and find creative solutions.

This problem-solving mindset is invaluable in life and work, where challenges often require innovative thinking.

Imagine being in a tight spot during sparring, with your opponent applying pressure.

You can’t rely on brute force alone.

You must think strategically, using technique and leverage to find a way out.

This skill translates to life, where obstacles often require thoughtful analysis and creative solutions.

Community and Belonging

Martial arts foster a sense of community and belonging.

In the dojo, you are part of a team, working together to achieve common goals.

This sense of camaraderie provides support and encouragement, helping you stay motivated on your journey.

Many young men find themselves feeling isolated and disconnected in today’s digital world.

The dojo offers a space where they can connect with others who share their values and aspirations.

Through shared experiences, they build friendships that extend beyond the mat, creating a support network that helps them navigate life’s challenges.

A Prettier Vision of the Solution

Imagine waking up each day with a sense of purpose and confidence.

Your body is strong, your mind is sharp, and you have the tools to tackle whatever life throws your way.

The fear that once held you back is now a motivator, pushing you to embrace challenges and grow.

This is the vision that martial arts offers—a future where you are empowered to live life to the fullest.

Transforming Fear into Fuel

Martial arts teaches you to view fear not as an enemy but as a catalyst for growth.

You learn to harness fear’s energy, using it to propel you forward rather than hold you back.

Picture yourself standing in front of a board, ready to break it with a powerful strike.

The fear of failure looms large, but instead of succumbing to it, you channel that fear into focus.

With a swift, decisive movement, the board breaks, symbolizing the shattering of limitations in your life.

Building Resilience for Life’s Challenges

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, and martial arts provide the perfect training ground.

You learn to weather storms with grace and strength, emerging stronger on the other side.

In martial arts, setbacks are inevitable.

Whether it’s a loss in competition or a difficult technique, you learn to pick yourself up and keep moving forward.

This resilience becomes a part of who you are, helping you face life’s challenges with unwavering determination.

Only by going too far can you find out how far you can go, building the resilience that will serve you well in life.

I found this out in 1992, when sparring a bit too hard, I got my spleen ruptured and later removed in the hospital.

Many students and some instructors were shocked to see me return to the mat about a year later, but to me it made perfect sense.

I wanted to learn how to never be injured like that again by training even smarter and not being a quitter.

Call To Action

It’s time to take action.

If you’re tired of feeling stuck and want to break free from the cycle of inactivity and fear, martial arts could be the answer.

Explore local dojos or online programs, and take the first step toward transforming your life.

Whether you’re interested in karate, jiu-jitsu, or taekwondo, there’s a style and instructor that will be well-suited to your particular needs.

In my many years of training, I’ve worked with people in wheelchairs, without the use of their arms, AARP card-carrying seniors, kids, and everything in between.

Remember, martial arts aren’t just about fighting; they’re about fighting for a better version of yourself.

Start Your Journey

Research local martial arts schools and find one that resonates with you.

Attend a trial class, speak with instructors, and get a feel for the community.

The first step is often the hardest, but it’s also the most important.

This is what I tell people when they ask me how to get started;

First, find all of the schools in a 15-20 minute radius of your home. You don’t want to use travel time as one more excuse for not training when you’re tired, burnt out and had a stressful day. And it will happen.

Make a list of all of the schools and you will check all of them out before you make a choice.

Now for each school, enter the school from their main entrance, this is especially true if they have a back door to the parking area. When you step into the main entrance, step off to the side so that you’re not blocking the entrance and stop. Close your eyes and “feel” the place.

If it doesn’t feel good for any reason, don’t say anything, just turn around and walk out.

If it does feel good, great! See about watching a beginner class. You will not be watching for what they are learning, what you’re watching for is how does the instructor teach.

Watching the instructor does (s)he care for the students? Is he paying attention to what they are doing? Does he explain things clearly until understood?

Martial arts will challenge you to go to scary places, doing scary things, that is one of its biggest benefits. But you won’t do that if you don’t trust and respect the teacher, if the teacher doesn’t help you to feel safe.

That’s what you’re looking for.

After doing this for all the schools on your list, pick the one that felt the best, not what style you think is best, in the beginning you don’t know enough about the different styles to make that determination, yet.

Commit to training at that school for at least a year, hopefully going to 3 to 4 classes per week.

After a year of consistent training, you will then have a foundation of understanding to see if this is a place that you want to continue training at or if you need to pivot to a different style, school, or training system.