Leadership Archives - Charles Doublet

The Secret to Dealing with People, and It’s NOT the Golden Rule

December 28, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

The Secret That Changes Everything

Let’s face it: success isn’t just about how hard you work, how skilled you are, or even how many hours you put in.

It’s about people.

Specifically, it’s about how well you understand them.

We’ve all had that coworker who seems impossible to get along with, the boss who’s never satisfied, or the client who changes their mind at the last second.

If you’re like most people, these interactions probably left you frustrated, confused, and questioning your sanity.

Here’s the kicker: it doesn’t have to be this way.

Imagine walking into any room, meeting any person, and immediately understanding what makes them tick.

Not only would you get along better, but you’d also find doors opening where walls once stood.

The secret?

Applying The Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they want to be treated.

To make it work, you’ll need to understand one simple tool: the Hippocratic temperament model.

Master this, and you’ll not only survive the chaos of dealing with different people—you’ll thrive.

The Problem You Don’t Know You’re Facing

Most of us grow up hearing about The Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.

It’s a noble sentiment, but here’s the thing—it assumes everyone is like you.

The reality?

People are different.

What motivates you might stress someone else out.

What you see as respect, they might see as indifference.

Trying to apply your standards to everyone else is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Here’s where it gets tricky: in most industries, especially high-pressure ones like construction, there’s little room for error.

Miscommunication isn’t just inconvenient; it can cost time, money, or even your job.

I learned this the hard way.

Back in 2000, I got laid off because I didn’t understand my real job.

Sure, I thought my role was about wiring buildings and meeting deadlines.

But the truth hit me like a freight train: my job was to make my supervisor’s life easier.

Once I figured that out, everything changed.

And it wasn’t just about doing what I was told—it was about understanding how my supervisor operated, what they valued, and what stressed them out.

In short, I had to learn to read people.

The Cost of Not Learning This Skill

Before we dive into the solution, let’s pause for a moment.

Think about the last time you had a conflict at work.

Maybe it was with a boss who micromanaged you, a coworker who wouldn’t pull their weight, or a client who couldn’t make up their mind.

Now ask yourself: How did I handle it?

Did you try to explain your point of view, only to be ignored?

Did you get frustrated and disengage?

Or did you just push through, feeling like nothing you said or did made a difference?

If you’ve ever felt stuck in these situations, you’re not alone.

Most people struggle to connect with others because they focus on their own perspective.

But here’s the painful truth: if you can’t adapt to the people around you, you’ll always be at a disadvantage.

The Platinum Rule and the Four Temperaments

The Platinum Rule flips the script.

Instead of treating others the way you want to be treated, you treat them the way they want to be treated.

To do this effectively, you need a framework.

Enter the Hippocratic temperament model, a simple yet powerful tool that categorizes people into four primary types:

Choleric (The Leader): Bold, decisive, and goal-oriented. They love action and results.
- Hot buttons: Efficiency, control, and winning.
- How to approach: Be direct, confident, and results-focused.

Sanguine (The Optimist): Energetic, social, and creative. They thrive on fun and connection.
- Hot buttons: Recognition, excitement, and relationships.
- How to approach: Be enthusiastic, engaging, and personal.

Phlegmatic (The Peacemaker): Calm, steady, and dependable. They value harmony and stability.
- Hot buttons: Security, consistency, and teamwork.
- How to approach: Be patient, empathetic, and reassuring.

Melancholic (The Thinker): Analytical, detail-oriented, and perfectionistic. They value structure and logic.
- Hot buttons: Precision, organization, and quality.
- How to approach: Be thorough, prepared, and logical.

To find out your temperament, you can take the quiz here: OSPP Four Temperaments Test

The Practical Application:
Reading the Room

Here’s the fun part: once you understand these temperaments, you can start “reading” people in seconds.

Imagine you’re meeting a new client:

Do they jump straight into the bottom line? You’re likely dealing with a Choleric.

Do they crack a joke or ask about your weekend? That’s classic Sanguine energy.

Do they seem reserved and cautious? They’re probably a Melancholic.

Do they focus on building trust before diving into details? That’s a Phlegmatic.

By recognizing these cues, you can tailor your approach.

And when you meet someone on their level—speaking their language, addressing their needs—you’ll find that even the toughest interactions become smoother.

The Construction Site Experiment

Let me take you back to my days in construction.

This wasn’t an industry known for emotional intelligence.

Tempers flared, patience ran thin, and egos were everywhere.

But it was also the perfect training ground for learning how to deal with people.

Take “Rackstraw,” one of my old supervisors.

He was the epitome of a Choleric—always in a rush, always focused on the end goal.

If you showed up unprepared or wasted his time, he’d let you have it.

But once I learned his temperament, I stopped trying to explain myself in long-winded ways.

Instead, I’d say, “Here’s the problem, here’s my solution, and here’s how it helps us hit the deadline.”

Guess what?

Dave started listening.

Then there was “Mike,” a classic Melancholic.

He didn’t care about speed; he cared about precision.

If I tried to rush him, he’d double-check every detail just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

So instead of pushing him, I’d say, “Mike, I know you like to be thorough—can you walk me through your process so I can support you better?”

Suddenly, we were a team.

Why This Works Everywhere

The beauty of the Platinum Rule and the Hippocratic model is that they work in any setting.

At work: Want to stand out? Make your boss’s life easier by understanding what they value most.

In relationships: Tired of constant arguments? Learn how your partner processes emotions and tailor your approach.

With clients: Want to close more deals? Address their hot buttons instead of pitching what you think is important.

This isn’t manipulation—it’s empathy in action.

By meeting people where they are, you’re not only more effective, but you’re also building trust and connection.

The Fun of Mastery:
Turning Challenges into Games

Once you get the hang of this, it stops feeling like work.

Instead, it becomes a game.

Picture this: you’re at a networking event, and you decide to see how quickly you can identify someone’s temperament.

The bubbly woman talking about her latest vacation?

Sanguine.

The guy checking his watch, clearly ready to leave?

Choleric.

The quiet observer near the snack table?

Probably a Melancholic.

Every interaction becomes an opportunity to practice.

And the more you practice, the more natural it feels.

You’ll find yourself navigating even the toughest situations with ease, like a martial artist who knows exactly how to counter any move.

The Superpower You Can Build

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: success isn’t just about what you know—it’s about how well you understand others.

The Platinum Rule and the Hippocratic temperament model aren’t just tools; they’re superpowers.

They give you the ability to connect, adapt, and thrive in any environment.

So here’s your challenge.

Start small.

Learn the four temperaments.

Practice recognizing them in everyday interactions.

Pay attention to what makes people light up or shut down.

And remember—this isn’t about changing who you are.

It’s about understanding the people around you so you can bring out the best in them (and yourself).

Because when you master the art of dealing with people, you’re not just making life easier—you’re opening doors you didn’t even know existed.

And that, my friend, is golden.

The Paradox of Success: Walk Like a God, Work Like a Dog

December 20, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

The Hard Truth About Success:
It’s Earned, Not Owed

In a world where dreams are a dime a dozen, and action is in short supply, there lies a profound truth:

“Walk like a god. Work like a dog.

You must believe you’re capable of anything, but entitled to nothing.

Those who live this paradox run the world.”

– Zach Pogrob

These words encapsulate a powerful philosophy that combines self-belief with relentless effort—a paradox that, when mastered, can transform your life.

In today’s society, many young people struggle with finding their path to success.

The allure of quick fixes, instant gratification, and entitlement can easily lead to a sense of frustration and helplessness.

You might feel stuck in a cycle of dreaming big but never taking the necessary steps to make those dreams a reality.

The Myth of Entitlement

As Robert Heinlein established in his book, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress and The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, TANSTAAFL

“There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.”

One of the biggest problems facing many today is the myth of entitlement.

The belief that success, happiness, or fulfillment is something you deserve simply because you exist is a dangerous trap.

That is why we see so many Kens and Karens posting on social media.

This mindset leads to disappointment and inaction, as people wait for opportunities to fall into their laps rather than creating their own.

The Fear of Failure

Fear of failure paralyzes many aspiring individuals.

It’s easy to dream when there’s no risk involved, but taking action requires courage.

The fear of making mistakes or being judged can prevent you from taking the first step toward achieving your goals.

The quickest and easiest way to overcome the fear of failure is starting small.

Then building upon those small successes to attempt slightly bigger challenges.

Today this every day for a year, and you won’t recognize yourself.

Lack of Direction and Purpose

Without a clear sense of direction and purpose, it’s challenging to channel your energy effectively.

Wandering aimlessly through life, you might find yourself working hard but getting nowhere, like a ship without a rudder.

Most people waste time and energy focusing on what they don’t want:

hate this job
don’t want to be single
wish I could do whatever I want

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it points to everywhere but where you’re at.

And it doesn’t point to a direction of where you want to go.

If you hate your job, what do you want to do instead that will pay the bills?
What are the qualities and characteristics of the partner that you would love living your life with?
What would you be doing if you could do whatever you want? What lifestyle? Where? Who are you surrounded with?

The Cost of Inaction

Every day you spend in inaction is a day lost.

Time is the most precious resource, and once it’s gone, it’s gone forever.

Inaction not only prevents you from reaching your potential but also erodes your self-confidence over time.

You only have so much time here on this Earth.

You can either waste, spend or invest that time.

Spend it to live your present self
Invest it into become your future self
Waste it to regress into your past self

It’s up to you what to do with your time and energy.

But don’t blame anyone else for your poor decisions.

The Consequences of Entitlement

An entitlement mentality can lead to dissatisfaction and resentment.

When you believe the world owes you something, you miss out on the satisfaction that comes from earning success through your efforts.

This mindset can strain relationships and limit personal growth.

“Life is hard.

Life is harder when you’re stupid.”

– John Wayne

When I first heard this quote, it became my motto for work and life.

“Don’t be stupid!”

My friends and coworkers got tired of hearing from me but I was seeing it everywhere and I didn’t want my life to be harder than it had to be.

The Cycle of Fear

Fear of failure creates a cycle that’s hard to break.

It leads to procrastination, missed opportunities, and ultimately, regret.

The longer you let fear dictate your actions, the harder it becomes to overcome.

In Carlos Castenada‘s book, The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, he talks about the four enemies of man;

Fear
Clarity
Power
Old Age

And fear, being the first, stops most people in their tracks.

Not even getting to a place where they have to face the 3 other enemies.

Learn to make a friend of fear.

Realize that every time you are feeling fear you are growing, learning and becoming more.

Walk Like a God:
Cultivate Unshakeable Belief

To walk like a god means to cultivate an unshakeable belief in yourself and your abilities.

This isn’t about arrogance or thinking you’re better than others; it’s about recognizing your potential and having the confidence to pursue your goals relentlessly.

Learn to love and respect yourself so much that you have no time for anybody trying to take you down.

Don’t let somebody else’s opinion become your laws.

This is your life.

Own it!

Work Like a Dog:
Embrace Relentless Effort

Working like a dog means embracing relentless effort and hard work.

It’s about putting in the hours, showing up consistently, and doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it.

Success is not a result of luck but of consistent, dedicated effort.

Each and every day, do a little bit toward your goals, dreams and priorities.

Learn to say, “No” to distractions, rabbit holes, and FOMO

Allow the 1% Compounding Effect to work for you, not against you.

Create habits of success.

Balance Belief with Humility

Believing you’re capable of anything while feeling entitled to nothing is a powerful paradox.

It means having the confidence to aim high while staying humble enough to work hard and earn your achievements.

This balance is the key to true success.

You know what the difference between confidence and arrogance is?

Confidence is stating what you can do and have done.
Arrogance is trying to convince people what you hope you can do and haven’t done.

I learned this from one of my senior instructors of hapkido.

It was my first introduction into the Bruce Lee quote;

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

My instructor was giving me the path to confidence and dispelling any arrogance.

From Dreamer to Doer

When you adopt this paradoxical mindset, you transition from being a dreamer to a doer.

Dreams without action remain fantasies, but when you combine belief with effort, you turn those dreams into tangible results.

Building Resilience

Walking like a god and working like a dog builds resilience.

You learn to overcome setbacks, adapt to challenges, and keep moving forward despite obstacles.

This resilience is what sets successful individuals apart from those who give up at the first sign of difficulty.

Living with Purpose

Living by this philosophy gives you a sense of purpose.

You wake up each day with a clear direction, knowing that your actions are aligned with your goals.

This sense of purpose fuels your motivation and keeps you focused on the journey ahead.

If you’re ready to embrace this powerful paradox and transform your life, now is the time to take action.

Here are some steps to get started:

Cultivate Self-Belief
- Affirmations: Use daily affirmations to reinforce your belief in yourself and your abilities. Remind yourself that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.
- Visualization: Visualize your success in vivid detail. Imagine yourself achieving your goals and experiencing the satisfaction that comes with it.
Embrace Hard Work
- Set Clear Goals: Define your goals and break them down into actionable steps. Create a plan and stick to it, adjusting as necessary.
- Consistency is Key: Show up every day and put in the work, even when it’s hard. Consistency is the secret ingredient to long-term success.
Stay Humble
- Practice Gratitude: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude for the opportunities and resources you have. Recognize that success is earned, not given.
- Learn from Others: Stay open to learning from others, regardless of their position or status. Everyone has something valuable to teach.

Are you ready to embrace the paradox and take control of your destiny?

If you’re serious about transforming your life, take the first step today.

Remember, you are capable of anything, but entitled to nothing.

Let this mindset guide you as you walk like a god and work like a dog.

The world is waiting for those who dare to live this paradox. Will you be one of them?

Conclusion: The Paradox in Practice

Embracing the paradox of walking like a god and working like a dog is about aligning your mindset with your actions.

It’s about believing in your potential while committing to the hard work necessary to realize it.

Those who master this philosophy understand that success is not handed out freely; it’s earned through dedication, perseverance, and a willingness to grow.

Real-Life Examples of the Paradox

1. Elon Musk: A Visionary with Relentless Drive

Elon Musk is a prime example of someone who embodies this paradox.

With unyielding belief in his ability to revolutionize industries, he has tirelessly worked to bring his visions to life.

Whether it’s SpaceX, Tesla, or Neuralink, Musk’s journey is marked by sleepless nights, countless failures, and relentless pursuit of innovation.

He walks with the confidence of a visionary and works with the intensity of someone who knows that nothing is guaranteed.

2. Oprah Winfrey: From Humble Beginnings to Global Influence

Oprah Winfrey’s story is one of overcoming adversity through sheer determination and belief in her potential.

Growing up in poverty, she didn’t allow her circumstances to define her future.

Instead, she worked tirelessly to become one of the most influential media moguls in the world.

Her journey exemplifies the balance between self-belief and hard work, demonstrating that anyone can rise to greatness with the right mindset and effort.

3. J.K. Rowling: Persistence in the Face of Rejection

Before J.K. Rowling became a household name with the Harry Potter series, she faced numerous rejections from publishers.

Yet, she believed in her story and continued to persevere.

Her success story is a testament to the power of walking like a god, with unwavering belief in her creative vision, and working like a dog, consistently honing her craft until she achieved literary success.

Practical Tips for Living the Paradox

1. Set Clear Intentions

Having a clear intention gives you direction and purpose.

Define what success means to you and what you’re willing to do to achieve it.

When you know what you want, you can focus your efforts and avoid distractions.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is essential for living the paradox.

Embrace challenges as opportunities to learn and grow.

Understand that failure is not a reflection of your worth but a stepping stone to success.

Cultivate resilience by viewing setbacks as temporary and surmountable.

3. Build a Support System

Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your potential.

A supportive network can provide encouragement, guidance, and accountability.

Share your goals with others who understand the importance of balancing confidence with hard work.

4. Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate your progress along the way.

Recognizing small achievements boosts your motivation and reinforces your belief in your ability to succeed.

It’s a reminder that your efforts are paying off and that you’re moving closer to your goals.

5. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you stay grounded and focused on the present moment.

It allows you to manage stress, maintain clarity, and make conscious decisions.

Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation or journaling into your routine to cultivate self-awareness and resilience.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey

Walking like a god and working like a dog is not a destination but a journey.

It’s a lifelong commitment to self-improvement, resilience, and growth.

As you navigate this journey, remember that true success is not measured by external achievements alone but by the person you become in the process.

Your Challenge

I challenge you to take the first step today.

Identify one area in your life where you can apply the paradox of belief and effort.

Set a goal, create an action plan, and commit to it with unwavering dedication.

Walk with confidence, work with persistence, and watch as you transform your life.

The World Awaits

The world is shaped by those who dare to dream and act.

By embracing this paradox, you join the ranks of those who run the world, leaving a legacy of inspiration, innovation, and impact.

The power to change your life and the world around you

The 3 Groups of People Who Will Shape (or Break) Your Dream Journey

December 6, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

Why Pursuing Your Dreams Can Feel Lonely—And Why That’s a Good Thing

Have you ever felt like pursuing your dreams makes you stand out in all the wrong ways?

Maybe you’ve started a side hustle, picked up a new skill, or decided to finally chase that big, audacious goal you’ve always kept on the back burner.

Only to find yourself swimming upstream against waves of criticism, doubt, or even quiet indifference.

It feels isolating.

Lonely, even.

Like the world isn’t built for dreamers.

But what if I told you this isn’t a bad thing?

What if the resistance you feel isn’t a sign you’re on the wrong path, but proof that you’re walking a road fewer people dare to tread?

The truth is, as you go through life and chase your dreams, you’ll run into three types of people.

Once you recognize who’s who, the journey gets simpler—not easier, but clearer.

And when clarity kicks in, so does freedom:

to dream bigger

the freedom to move forward

to let go of the baggage that’s been weighing you down

Let’s unpack the lesson that’s taken me nearly five decades—and countless trials, setbacks, and comebacks—to learn.

Group 1: The Critics

Picture this.

Do you feel like that one fish going against everybody else?

You’re excited about a new goal.

Maybe you’ve started sharing your dreams with a few people.

The response?

A snarky remark here, a side-eye there, or the classic backhanded compliment:

“Wow, that’s ambitious. Are you sure you can pull it off?”

These are the critics, and they are everywhere.

Not because you’re doing something wrong, but because your ambition unsettles them.

Whether they realize it or not, your determination to chase your goals shines a spotlight on their own inaction.

You see it in the coworker who laughs off your business idea.

In the old friend who asks why you’re “wasting time” on your creative pursuits.

In the stranger online who feels compelled to tear you down for daring to be different.

At first, it stings.

You might even wonder if they’re right.

But here’s the secret.

Critics aren’t mirrors.

They don’t reflect your reality; they project their fears.

The longer you chase your goals, the more you’ll notice this pattern.

Critics will try to pull you down because it’s easier than climbing up themselves.

They’re not bad people, necessarily—they’re just stuck in their own fear, unwilling to take risks or step out of their comfort zone.

The lesson here isn’t to fight them or prove them wrong.

It’s to let them be.

You can’t change their mindset, and it’s not your job to.

Your job is to keep climbing, leaving the critics behind.

Group 2: The Companions

Now imagine this.

You’ve found your tribe.

A few like-minded dreamers who understand what it’s like to go against the grain.

They’re building businesses, creating art, pursuing fitness goals—whatever their dreams might be.

And for a while, it feels like you’ve hit the jackpot.

These are the companions.

They’re the ones who get it.

The ones who cheer you on, swap stories of triumph and struggle, and inspire you to keep going.

But here’s where it gets tricky.

Not everyone who starts the journey with you will finish it.

Life happens.

Goals shift.

Some companions will get sidetracked, worn down by setbacks, or lured back into comfort zones.

You might hear things like:

“I had to pause my dream for the kids.”
“Work’s too busy right now. I’ll come back to it later.”
Or the classic: “I realized it just wasn’t practical anymore.”

And maybe, for them, that’s true.

Everyone has their reasons.

But as you watch companions drop off one by one, it’s easy to feel disheartened.

Here’s the truth.

Your companions are essential, but they aren’t permanent.

Some will stay with you for years; others for only a season.

The key is to value them while they’re with you but not let their departure derail you.

Think of it like hiking a mountain.

You might start with a group of ten, but as the trail gets steeper, some will turn back.

That’s okay.

Keep climbing.

The ones who are meant to go the distance will meet you at the summit.

Group 3: The Leaders

Finally, there’s the rarest group of all: the leaders.

These are the 1 in 10,000.

The ones who have not only chased their dreams but caught them—and kept running.

They’re the trailblazers, the visionaries, the people you look at and think, Wow, they’ve figured it out.

At first, these people might intimidate you.

They’re further along the path, and their success can feel like an impossible standard.

But don’t mistake their position for perfection.

Every leader you meet has faced the same struggles you’re going through now:

the critics

the setbacks

the moments of self-doubt

What sets them apart isn’t talent or luck—it’s persistence.

Leaders keep going when others quit.

They adapt, evolve, and learn from every stumble.

These are the people you want to surround yourself with.

They’re proof that your dreams are possible, and they’ll challenge you to aim higher than you thought you could.

But here’s the thing.

Leaders won’t chase you.

They don’t have time for people who aren’t serious about the climb.

To earn their respect, you have to show you’re committed.

That means putting in the work, even when it’s hard.

It means pushing through the loneliness, trusting that you’ll find your fellow travelers at the top.

When you do, hold on to them.

Learn from them.

Support them.

And if the time comes to part ways, let them go with gratitude.

A Quiet Truth: Loneliness on the Path

Here’s something no one tells you about chasing your dreams.

It’s a lonely road.

Not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because the higher you climb, the fewer people you’ll meet who are willing to climb with you.

At first, this loneliness can feel crushing.

But over time, you’ll realize it’s a gift.

It forces you to focus.

To get clear on your goals.

To stop worrying about what others think and start living for yourself.

And when you do meet those rare, extraordinary people who are climbing alongside you, the connection is all the more powerful.

Because you know how hard it is to be where you are.

You know what it takes.

Freedom at the Summit

So what’s the takeaway?

You’ll meet three groups of people on your journey:

Critics who pull you down

Companions who walk beside you for a while

Leaders who inspire you and can help you to rise higher

Each group plays a role. The critics teach you resilience. The companions remind you that you’re not alone. And the leaders show you what’s possible.

But the real freedom comes when you stop letting any of these groups define you.

The critics?

Let them talk.

The companions?

Love them while they’re here, but don’t rely on them to finish the journey with you.

The leaders?

Learn from them, but don’t compare yourself to their path—it’s uniquely theirs, just as yours is uniquely yours.

Your dreams are yours to chase.

Your mountain is yours to climb.

And when you reach the summit, you’ll look back and see the journey wasn’t just about achieving a goal.

It was about becoming the person who had the courage to keep climbing.

So here’s your challenge.

Start today.

Take the next step, no matter how small.

And if the critics start to jeer or the companions start to fade, remember this: You’re not alone.

You’re just part of the rare few brave enough to keep climbing.

And at the summit, the view is worth it.

Fear Regret More Than Failure: Take the First Step Today

November 27, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

Crawl Before You Run: Building Confidence, One Step at a Time

Imagine this.

It’s ten years from now.

You’re sitting alone, thinking about your life.

The memories flood in—not the ones of bold moves or thrilling victories, but the ones that never happened.

The words you didn’t say
The job you didn’t apply for
The risks you never took because you weren’t “confident enough”

The feeling hits you—fear, not of failure but of regret.

A life lived within safe boundaries, where fear of taking the first step outweighed the joy of the journey.

But what if, ten years from now, the story you remember is different?

What if you looked back and saw not perfection, but progress?

Not a life without fear, but a life lived despite it?

Here’s the truth: Confidence isn’t some magical trait you’re born with or stumble upon one day.

It’s built step by step, fall by fall, much like a toddler learning to walk.

And you can start today.

The Myth of Instant Confidence

Think back to when you were a kid.

Maybe you were learning to ride a bike.

At first, it was terrifying—wobbly handlebars, scraped knees, the constant fear of falling.

Did you hop on and immediately ride like the wind?

Of course not.

You started slow, hesitant.

Maybe with training wheels, maybe with someone steadying you from behind.

Somewhere along the way, you got the hang of it.

Not because you were fearless, but because you kept going despite the fear.

Confidence works the same way.

But here’s the catch: Most people believe they need confidence before they take action.

They wait for it to show up like a guest who’s perpetually late to the party.

They say, “I’ll assert myself once I feel confident.”

But here’s the irony: Confidence doesn’t come before action. It comes after.

Every time you take a step—however small—you prove to yourself that you’re capable.

You don’t need to convince anyone else, just you.

And with each step, your confidence grows.

Missed Opportunities Are the Real Monsters

Picture yourself standing at the edge of a pool.

You’re afraid to jump.

Maybe the water looks too deep, or you’re worried about how cold it will be.

You watch as others leap in, laughing, splashing, living.

The longer you wait, the harder it gets.

And here’s the cruel twist: It’s not just the fear of jumping that weighs on you anymore—it’s the regret of not jumping.

That’s how life works.

The opportunities you let pass by don’t just vanish; they stick with you, quietly whispering in the back of your mind.

Over time, fear of action turns into something worse: shame and guilt.

The good news?

You don’t have to live that way.

Start Small: The Toddler Method

If the idea of taking bold action feels overwhelming, that’s okay.

Nobody runs a marathon their first day out.

Start where you are—crawl if you have to.

Think about a toddler learning to walk.

They don’t worry about looking silly or falling.

They try, they fall, they laugh, they try again.

It’s messy, sure.

But every stumble brings them closer to standing tall.

The beauty of starting small is that it lowers the stakes.

Afraid to speak up in a meeting?

Start by sharing one small idea.

Nervous about asking someone out?

Begin with a friendly hello.

Over time, these tiny steps add up.

You’re building not just confidence, but resilience.

Real-Life Example: The Fall That Taught Me to Fly

Let me share a story.

At 59, I look back and see plenty of moments where I felt like that toddler—crawling, stumbling, unsure.

One that stands out is when I first started learning martial arts.

I was terrified to step onto the mat.

Everyone else seemed to know what they were doing. I, on the other hand, felt completely out of my depth.

My first few lessons were humbling.

I tripped.

I fell.

I literally had nightmares of sparring my classmates.

But here’s the thing: I kept showing up.

I focused on small wins—learning how to break a fall, practicing footwork to move out of the way, perfecting a single technique.

Each time I walked off the mat, I felt a little stronger, a little braver.

Years later, I earned my black belt.

Not because I was fearless, but because I learned to crawl, then walk, then run.

Why Crawling Is Powerful

Starting small does something magical: It shifts your mindset.

When you start crawling, the voice in your head—the one that says “you can’t do this”—gets quieter.

You realize that falling isn’t the end of the world.

In fact, it’s part of the process.

Small steps compound.

One leads to another, and soon, the thing that once felt impossible becomes second nature.

The best part?

Crawling isn’t just for beginners.

Even the most successful people use this approach.

They don’t leap blindly into the unknown; they start with what they can manage, building momentum as they go.

The Confidence You’re Looking For Is Already Inside You

Here’s the truth: You don’t need to wait for confidence to show up before you start living boldly.

You don’t need a perfect plan or a guarantee of success.

All you need is the courage to take the first step.

Start small.

Crawl if you must.

Speak up in one conversation.

Say yes to one opportunity.

Write one sentence, make one call, take one chance.

You won’t transform overnight.

But one day, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come—not with regret, but with pride.

And when that day comes, you’ll realize something powerful: Confidence isn’t something you find.

It’s something you create.

So, what’s your first step?

Why Success Requires Embracing Looking Like a Fool

November 1, 2024 by Chuck Leave a Comment

The Taoist Art of Appearing Foolish

In the season one finale of The Newsroom, an HBO series known for its sharp commentary on modern media, the episode titled “The Greater Fool” explores a financial term that initially sounds like a warning.

The “greater fool” is the one who buys high and sells low, foolishly believing that they can succeed where so many others have failed.

This individual is often mocked as naive or arrogant, but beneath the surface lies something deeper—an almost Taoist embrace of appearing foolish.

video preview

What if I told you that the world doesn’t need more “smart” people—critics, cynics, and cowards who spend their lives pointing out every potential pitfall, only to avoid any forward movement?

What if, instead, we need more Taoist fools?

People who are willing to appear foolish, ignorant, and, most importantly, courageous enough to take action where others fear to tread.

In a world filled with weaklings, but only a few warriors, the difference between success and failure often comes down to the willingness to embrace the role of the fool.

Success doesn’t come to those who merely see the obstacles—it comes to those who charge headfirst into them.

Too Smart for Your Own Good

Today, we’re facing a societal epidemic of overthinking.

Everywhere you look, you’ll find someone ready to tear down an idea, criticize a bold move, or offer ten reasons why something “won’t work.”

These people are not warriors—they are weaklings.

It’s the easier route, after all.

It’s easy to see all the potential pitfalls and do nothing.

It’s easy to talk a big game, remain on the sidelines, and justify inaction by claiming intellectual superiority.

But here’s the thing: that mentality will never get you anywhere in life.

Think about the biggest accomplishments in history.

They weren’t achieved by the people who sat around nitpicking at every detail.

No, they were achieved by people who took action, who dared to look foolish, and who charged forward regardless of the overwhelming odds.

And that’s the problem: we’ve created a society where it’s safer to be a critic than a creator.

It’s safer to stay in the comfortable role of pointing out flaws than to risk failing while attempting something great.

Cynicism and skepticism have become intellectual shields for cowardice.

But the Taoists, in their timeless wisdom, understood the importance of appearing foolish.

They knew that true power, true success, comes from the willingness to step into the unknown with an open mind and a courageous heart.

Smart People Are Stupid and Foolish People Are Fearless

So let me ask you this: when was the last time you made a bold move?

When was the last time you put yourself out there, knowing full well that people might call you foolish?

The world is full of opportunities that most people never seize.

Why?

Because they’re too busy calculating every possible risk, too concerned with what others will think, or too comfortable where they are.

The “smart” people—the ones who seem to have it all figured out—rarely accomplish anything significant because they never take the leap.

The Taoist concept of appearing foolish is a powerful antidote to this paralysis.

To the outside world, the Taoist fool may seem ignorant or naive, but in reality, they possess a deep understanding of life’s greatest secret: success comes from action.

Not from thinking, not from worrying, and certainly not from trying to appear smart.

From the Tao Te Ching

“Give up learning, and put an end to your troubles.
Is there a difference between yes and no?
Is there a difference between good and evil?
Must I fear what others fear? What nonsense!
Other people are contented, enjoying the sacrificial feast of the ox.
In spring some go to the park, and climb the terrace,
But I alone am drifting, not knowing where I am.
Like a newborn babe before it learns to smile,
I am alone, without a place to go.
Others have more than they need, but I alone have nothing.
I am a fool. Oh, yes! I am confused.
Others are clear and bright,
But I alone am dim and weak.
Others are sharp and clever,
But I alone am dull and stupid.
Oh, I drift like the waves of the sea,
Without direction, like the restless wind.
Everyone else is busy,
But I alone am aimless and depressed.
I am different.
I am nourished by the great mother.”

- Translated by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English, 1989, Chapter 20

The fool knows that failure is a possibility, but they also know that inaction guarantees failure.

They understand that to make progress, you must be willing to look foolish.

You must be willing to fail publicly.

And most importantly, you must be willing to move forward regardless of the pitfalls.

But most people don’t have that kind of courage.

They let fear control them.

Fear of failure.

Fear of judgment.

Fear of looking like they don’t know what they’re doing.

And so, they stay stuck in their comfort zones, rationalizing their inaction with clever excuses.

Think about it: what’s holding you back right now?

Is it a lack of knowledge, or is it fear?

Is it because you’re genuinely not ready, or because you’re afraid of appearing foolish?

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that it’s probably the latter.

You’re afraid of taking a risk because you don’t want to look like a fool.

But the truth is, that’s exactly why you’re stuck.

We live in a world that glorifies safety, predictability, and intelligence, but real success—warrior-level success—requires embracing the role of the fool.

It requires charging forward when everyone else is holding back.

It requires acting with courage, even when you don’t have all the answers.

Failing Forward Like a Fool

The solution to this problem is both simple and profound: you need to become a fool.

Not in the sense of recklessness or stupidity, but in the Taoist sense of embracing the unknown, taking action without overthinking, and being willing to look foolish in the eyes of others.

Here’s why: fools make progress.

While everyone else is busy analyzing and criticizing, the fool is moving forward, learning, adapting, and growing.

The fool doesn’t let the fear of looking stupid stop them from taking the first step.

And because of that, they often end up achieving things that the so-called “smart” people never will.

Think of the greatest innovators, entrepreneurs, and warriors throughout history.

Were they always the smartest people in the room?

No.

But they were often the most courageous.

They were the ones willing to make bold moves, to fail publicly, and to keep going despite the odds.

That’s what separates warriors from weaklings.

Warriors are willing to face overwhelming forces because they know that’s where growth happens.

That is why incidents like the Battle of Thermopylae resonate through history.

Weaklings, on the other hand, are too afraid to engage even in one-on-one challenges.

“The Spartans do not ask how many are the enemy but where they are.” – Plutarch

They see every obstacle as a reason to quit, while warriors see it as an opportunity to grow stronger.

If you want to be successful in life, you need to cultivate the mindset of the Taoist fool.

You need to be willing to charge forward, even when you don’t have all the answers.

You need to embrace the possibility of failure, knowing that it’s the only way to make real progress.

Here’s how you can start embracing your inner fool:

Take action before you’re ready. Stop waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect plan. It’s not coming. The fool knows that the only way to figure things out is by doing. So take the first step, even if you don’t feel fully prepared.

Ignore the critics. Whether they come from the outside or inside your own mind, critics are always going to be there. But the fool doesn’t let them dictate their actions. The fool knows that criticism is a sign of movement, and movement is the only way forward.

Learn from your mistakes. The fool doesn’t expect perfection. They expect to make mistakes, and they learn from them. Every failure is a step closer to success, and the fool embraces that process. They don’t let fear of failure stop them; they use it as fuel to keep going.

Embrace uncertainty. The Taoist fool understands that life is unpredictable and that trying to control everything is a fool’s errand. Instead, they move with the flow of life, adapting and adjusting as they go. They don’t need to have all the answers before they act because they trust that they’ll figure it out along the way.

Get comfortable with discomfort. The fool knows that growth happens outside of the comfort zone. They willingly step into uncomfortable situations because they know that’s where real learning occurs. They’re not afraid to be the beginner, the one who doesn’t have it all figured out. In fact, they embrace it.

“Today Is a Good Day to Die!”

When Worf says, “Today is a good day to die,” while he does mean he’s willing to die a physical death because he’s a warrior; more importantly, he means he’s willing to kill the coward in him and in all of us.

In a world full of critics, cynics, and cowards, the Taoist fool stands out.

They are the ones who dare to take action when everyone else is stuck in analysis paralysis.

They are the ones who are willing to look foolish in pursuit of something great.

If you want to be successful, you need to embrace the role of the fool.

You need to be willing to take risks, to fail publicly, and to move forward even when you don’t have all the answers.

You need to ignore the critics and trust that through action, you will figure things out.

The world doesn’t need more “smart” people who point out every possible flaw or risk.

It needs more Taoist fools—people who are courageous enough to take action in the face of uncertainty.

That’s the difference between warriors and weaklings.

Warriors move forward despite the odds.

Weaklings hold back because they’re too afraid of failure.

So if you want to be a warrior—if you want to achieve real success—you need to be willing to look like a fool.

The Taoists knew that true wisdom comes from action, not from trying to appear smart.

It’s time for you to embrace that wisdom, step into the role of the fool, and start making progress toward your goals.

Because in the end, the only real foolishness is not trying at all.