The Secret Technique That Separates True Leaders from Guys Just Taking a Walk

“Leadership is not about being in charge.

It’s about taking care of those in your charge.”

– Simon Sinek​

There’s an old saying that perfectly captures the difference between real leadership and mere authority:

“He who thinks he leads but has no followers is really just taking a walk.”

After watching Simon Sinek’s profound conversation with Bob Chapman, CEO of Barry-Wehmiller, I realized there’s a secret technique that separates authentic leaders from those who simply hold titles and give orders.

That secret?

Treating every person under your care as someone’s precious child.

It sounds simple, almost naive.

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But this single mindset shift has transformed a humble Midwestern manufacturing company into a $3.6 billion global powerhouse that’s studied at Harvard Business School and taught at over 70 universities worldwide.

Chapman is ranked as the #3 CEO by Inc. Magazine, not because he’s the smartest or most ruthless, but because he discovered something most leaders miss entirely: leadership isn’t about power—it’s about stewardship.

The Epiphany That Changed Everything

Chapman’s transformation from traditional autocratic manager to revolutionary leader began at a wedding.

Watching a father walk his daughter down the aisle and ceremonially give her away to another man, Chapman had a profound realization:

Every single person working in his company was someone’s precious child.

That shift in perspective—from seeing employees as line items to seeing them as someone’s son or daughter—changed everything.

Suddenly, the lens through which he viewed people completely reversed.

Instead of asking “How can these people help me achieve results?” he started asking “How can I take care of these people the way their parents would want them cared for?”

This wasn’t just a feel-good philosophy—it became the foundation of a leadership approach that’s produced extraordinary business results while transforming thousands of lives in the process.

The Eight Pillars of Truly Human Leadership

1. Leadership as Sacred Stewardship

The first pillar recognizes that leadership is fundamentally about responsibility, not privilege.

Traditional leadership focuses on what you can get from people.

Truly human leadership focuses on what you can give to people.

Chapman puts it simply:

“You can retire from a job, but you can’t retire from a calling.”

When you understand that you hold someone’s livelihood, well-being, and future in your hands, leadership becomes a sacred trust rather than a career opportunity.

This means:

• Making decisions based on how they affect people’s lives, not just profit margins
• Taking personal responsibility for the growth and development of every person in your care
• Measuring success by how many people you’ve helped become better versions of themselves
• Creating environments where people feel safe, valued, and empowered to contribute their best

2. People Over Profit (And How Profit Actually Follows)

The second pillar challenges the false choice between caring for people and achieving business results.

​Barry-Wehmiller has grown 12% annually for 25 years precisely because they put people first, not in spite of it.

The counterintuitive truth:

“When people feel genuinely cared for, they perform at levels that exceed what management through fear and pressure could ever achieve.”

They become emotionally invested in outcomes, take ownership of problems, and contribute discretionary effort that can’t be mandated or measured.

The results speak for themselves:

• 25 consecutive years of double-digit growth
• Industry-leading retention rates
• Innovation and problem-solving that comes from engaged, committed people
• A reputation that attracts top talent and loyal customers

The business case is clear:

People who feel valued create more value.

People who feel safe take more risks. People who feel trusted act more trustworthy.

3. Listening: The Most Powerful Human Skill

The third pillar recognizes that empathetic listening is the foundation of all meaningful leadership.

Chapman discovered something remarkable:

“Most adults don’t actually know how to listen. We’re taught to speak, to debate, to persuade—but never to truly listen.”

Barry-Wehmiller created an entire university dedicated to teaching empathetic listening—listening not to judge, fix, or respond, but simply to validate another person’s worth and experience.

The impact was unexpected: 95% of people who took the listening course reported that it improved not just their work relationships, but their marriages and relationships with their children.

They weren’t just becoming better employees—they were becoming better humans.

True listening involves:

• Setting aside your agenda to fully focus on the other person
• Listening to understand rather than to respond
• Validating emotions without trying to fix or change them
• Creating space for people to process their thoughts and feelings
• Demonstrating through your attention that the person matters

4. Caring as a Learnable Skill

The fourth pillar dismantles the myth that some people are natural caregivers while others aren’t.

Chapman’s insight:

“You can’t ask people to care—you have to teach them how to care.”

Barry-Wehmiller University teaches three core courses:

• Empathetic Listening: The foundation of all human connection
• Recognition and Celebration: How to make people feel valued in thoughtful, appropriate ways
• Culture of Service: Shifting from “it’s all about me” to “I genuinely care about you”

These aren’t “soft skills”—they’re survival skills for modern leadership.

In an increasingly automated world, the ability to connect with, understand, and inspire human beings becomes the ultimate competitive advantage.

5. No Layoffs: Creating True Safety

The fifth pillar takes a radical stance:

Layoffs represent a failure of leadership, not a strategic business tool.

Chapman believes that a leader’s primary responsibility is creating a business model where people can feel secure in their livelihood.

When the 2008 financial crisis hit and Barry-Wehmiller’s orders dropped 30%, Chapman refused to lay anyone off.

Instead, he found creative solutions—temporary pay cuts for executives, reduced hours, voluntary unpaid time off—that preserved everyone’s job while weathering the storm.

His reasoning:

“I once asked generals how they teach young soldiers to kill.

They said, ‘We don’t teach them to kill—we teach them to take out targets that made bad decisions.’

They dehumanize the hurt they’re inflicting.

We do the same thing in business with terms like ‘rightsizing’ and ‘reducing headcount.'”

Creating true safety means:

• Building sustainable business models that don’t require human sacrifice during difficult times
• Treating job security as a fundamental human need, not a luxury
• Making executive decisions that prioritize long-term stability over short-term profits
• Understanding that people can’t perform their best when they’re worried about their survival

6. Culture Is Caught, Not Taught

The sixth pillar recognizes that authentic culture emerges from lived values, not corporate slogans or mission statements.

At Barry-Wehmiller, there are no “Safety First” posters because the people themselves are the signs of safety.

Chapman observed something remarkable:

When people feel genuinely cared for, they begin caring for everything around them—their workspace, their colleagues, their work quality, their customers.

The physical environment becomes cleaner, calmer, and more joyful not because of policies, but because of how people feel about being there.

True culture manifests as:

• People naturally taking care of their environment and each other
• Problems being solved proactively rather than reactively
• Innovation and improvement happening organically
• New employees quickly adopting positive behaviors they see modeled
• Values being transmitted through actions, not words

7. Business as a Force for Healing

The seventh pillar addresses a sobering reality:

Much of the anxiety, depression, and stress in our society originates from unhealthy work environments.

Chapman cites research showing that 74% of illnesses are chronic, and the biggest cause of chronic illness is stress—with work being the primary source of stress.

The implication is profound:

Leaders are literally affecting people’s physical and mental health through their leadership choices.

Poor leadership creates illness.

Good leadership creates healing.

This means understanding that:

• How you treat people at work affects their entire family system
• Stress from work relationships impacts sleep, health, and happiness
• Parents stressed from bad leadership often struggle to be present with their children
• Leadership has a ripple effect that extends far beyond the workplace

Healing leadership involves:

• Creating environments where people feel psychologically safe
• Reducing unnecessary stress and pressure
• Supporting work-life integration rather than work-life conflict
• Addressing the whole person, not just their professional function

8. Legacy Through Discipleship

The eighth pillar focuses on sustainability:

How do you ensure that truly human leadership outlives any individual leader?

Chapman’s answer is creating disciples—people who deeply understand and can carry forward the principles of caring leadership.

Chapman’s greatest fear isn’t business failure—it’s that the caring culture he’s built might not survive beyond his tenure.

So he’s systematically developing other leaders who can teach, model, and perpetuate truly human leadership.

Building a leadership legacy requires:

• Identifying and developing potential disciples within your organization
• Teaching principles and frameworks, not just personalities and charisma
• Creating systems that reinforce caring behaviors even when you’re not present
• Measuring success by how many other leaders you’ve developed
• Building institutions that can survive and thrive beyond any individual

The Secret Technique Revealed

Here’s the secret that separates true leaders from mere position-holders:

Authentic leadership happens when you stop trying to get people to follow you and start focusing on serving the people who have chosen to follow you.

The paradox of leadership is that the more you focus on being followed, the fewer genuine followers you’ll have.

But when you focus on genuinely serving others’ growth, development, and well-being, people naturally want to follow because they trust that you have their best interests at heart.

Traditional leadership asks:

“How can I get people to do what I want?”

Truly human leadership asks:

“How can I help these people become the best versions of themselves?”

The difference in those questions creates entirely different relationships, cultures, and results.

The Implementation Framework: From Concept to Culture

Phase 1: The Lens Shift (Weeks 1-4)

Start with changing how you see people:

• Before every interaction, remind yourself: “This person is someone’s precious child”
• Replace “headcount” language with “heart count” thinking
• Journal daily: “Who did I help feel valued today?”
• Practice seeing people’s potential rather than just their current performance

Phase 2: Learning to Listen (Weeks 5-8)

Develop empathetic listening skills:

• Practice listening without preparing your response
• Ask questions that help people explore their own thoughts rather than leading them to your conclusions
• Focus on understanding emotions, not just facts
• Create space for people to process rather than rushing to solutions

Phase 3: Building Safety (Weeks 9-12)

Create psychological and practical safety:

• Address fears directly rather than pretending they don’t exist
• Be transparent about challenges while maintaining confidence in collective ability to handle them
• Make decisions that prioritize long-term stability over short-term gains
• Establish clear principles that guide decision-making during difficult times

Phase 4: Teaching Others (Quarter 2)

Develop caring capabilities in others:

• Identify potential disciples who can learn and teach caring leadership
• Create learning experiences around empathetic listening, recognition, and service
• Share stories and examples that illustrate caring leadership principles
• Provide feedback and coaching on how people’s leadership affects others

Phase 5: Systemic Integration (Ongoing)

Embed caring into organizational systems:

• Align hiring, promotion, and recognition systems with caring leadership principles
• Create feedback mechanisms that measure how well leaders are caring for people
• Build decision-making frameworks that consider human impact alongside business impact
• Establish traditions and rituals that reinforce the importance of people

The Ripple Effect: Beyond the Workplace

One of the most powerful aspects of truly human leadership is that its impact extends far beyond work.

When people experience being genuinely cared for and learn how to care for others, they take those skills home to their families and out into their communities.

Chapman discovered that people who learned empathetic listening at work reported:

• Improved marriages and partnerships
• Better relationships with their children
• Enhanced ability to navigate family conflicts
• Greater satisfaction in friendships and community relationships

This creates a multiplier effect: one leader practicing truly human principles can positively impact hundreds of families and thousands of relationships over time.

The Business Case for Caring

For leaders who need concrete business justification for caring leadership, the evidence is overwhelming:

Financial Performance: Barry-Wehmiller has outperformed the market consistently for 25 years.

Talent Attraction and Retention: People want to work for leaders who genuinely care about them, reducing recruitment and training costs.

Innovation and Problem-Solving: People who feel safe and valued contribute discretionary effort and creative thinking.

Customer Relationships: Employees who feel cared for naturally extend that care to customers.

Risk Management: Psychologically safe environments reduce the likelihood of costly mistakes, accidents, and conflicts.

Brand Reputation: Organizations known for caring leadership attract customers, partners, and opportunities.

The Choice Point: Authority or Influence

Every person in a leadership position faces a fundamental choice:

Will you lead through authority or through influence?

Authority can compel compliance, but only influence can inspire commitment.

Authority-based leadership produces:

• Compliance without enthusiasm
• Performance limited to minimum requirements
• Resistance to change and innovation
• Turnover when better opportunities arise
• Stress and defensive behaviors

Influence-based leadership creates:

• Engagement and emotional investment
• Performance that exceeds expectations
• Proactive improvement and innovation
• Loyalty even during difficult times
• Growth and development in everyone involved

The Ultimate Test: Would Your People Choose to Follow?

Here’s the ultimate test of leadership effectiveness:

If your title, position, and authority were removed tomorrow, would the same people choose to follow you?

True leaders create followership that transcends formal authority.

People follow them not because they have to, but because they want to.

Not because of the leader’s power, but because of the leader’s service.

Ask yourself:

• Do people seek your guidance even on matters outside your formal responsibility?
• Do people feel better about themselves after interacting with you?
• Are people becoming better versions of themselves through your leadership?
• Would your people recommend working for you to someone they care about?
• Are you developing other leaders who can carry forward your principles?

The Call to Truly Human Leadership

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The secret technique that separates true leaders from people just taking a walk isn’t complicated, but it requires courage.

It means choosing to see people as precious rather than expendable.

It means investing in relationships rather than just extracting performance.

It means measuring success by human flourishing rather than just financial metrics.

The world needs leaders who understand that their primary job isn’t to be followed—it’s to serve those who have chosen to follow.

This isn’t idealistic thinking; it’s practical wisdom proven by results.

Chapman and Sinek have shown us that truly human leadership isn’t just morally right—it’s strategically smart.

It creates better businesses, stronger communities, and healthier families.

It transforms workplaces from sources of stress into sources of growth and fulfillment.

The question isn’t whether caring leadership works—Barry-Wehmiller has proven that it does.

The question is whether you have the courage to treat every person in your care as someone’s precious child, even when it’s difficult, even when it’s not reciprocated, even when others think you’re naive.

That courage—the courage to care deeply and lead with love—is what transforms someone with authority into someone worth following.

It’s what turns a walk into a movement.

Your people are waiting to see which kind of leader you’ll choose to be.