Grow or Die: Why Staying Stuck Is the Fastest Way to Fail

The Luddite Lie

I was chatting with an buddy the other day.

He’s been in the video business since back when cameras weighed more than the tripods they sat on.

Talented guy, great eye, great instinct.

But he said something that made me pause.

“I waited way too long to switch to digital,” he told me. “Thought it was just a fad.”

I asked him if he knew what a Luddite was.

He laughed. “Sort of. I think of it as a compliment.”

He wasn’t joking.

In his world, being slow to adopt new tech was a badge of honor.

A signal of ‘doing it the right way.’

Film, manual focus, heavy rigs—that’s the “real” stuff, he said.

But here’s the thing: the world didn’t wait for him to catch up.

It sprinted right past him.

While he was clinging to his pride and purity, others were getting leaner, faster, and better with digital tools.

By the time he made the jump, he was behind—and he knew it.

It got me thinking.

We all hate change.

We say we don’t, but deep down, we love comfort.

Predictability.

Routines.

The “way we’ve always done it.”

That’s why phrases like “the good old days” have such a strong pull.

But here’s the hard truth: the good old days are gone.

And they’re not coming back.

The only constant in life is change.

Not accepting that is like trying to hold back the tide with a mop.

If you’re standing still, you’re not staying safe—you’re falling behind.

There’s a name for people who fight the future: Luddites.​

In nature, they’re called dead wood.

In society, they’re called lemmings, losers, or casualties of comfort.

You can honor the past. You can learn from it. But if you want to survive—hell, if you want to lead—you’ve got to move forward.

The Truth About Change

1. Why We Resist

Let’s get real: we don’t resist change because it’s bad. We resist change because it’s hard.

Change threatens your identity.

It calls your decisions into question.

It makes you ask, “Was I wrong?” And that’s a scary question for the ego.

In martial arts, I’ve seen it all the time. A black belt in some flashy McDojo system walks into a real fight gym, gets tapped out by a blue belt, and storms out never to return.

Not because they can’t learn—but because they don’t want to face the possibility that everything they invested in… might not mean as much as they thought.

In construction, it’s no different. I worked decades in the field.

When automation and prefabrication started creeping in, guys panicked. They feared for their jobs.

Instead of adapting, many dug their heels in.

But here’s the twist—while they were busy resisting, others were learning.

They picked up CAD, learned to run robotic layout tools, mastered prefabrication logistics.

I specialized in HVAC BMS systems.​

And guess what?

They didn’t lose their jobs—they got promoted.

I remember in the midst of the financial crisis around 2008, I would see guys who had been out of work for 2 years or more.

I wasn’t aware how bad it was for some guys because I had been so busy with work in BMS systems.

2. The Fallacy of the Good Old Days

There’s a romantic myth that floats around: that life was somehow better, simpler, or more noble “back then.”

It’s bullshit.

What people are really saying is:

“Back then, I understood how the world worked.

Now, I don’t.”

The illusion of simplicity is seductive.

But simplicity isn’t the goal—clarity is.

You don’t need to know everything that’s changing.

Just the 20% that impacts 80% of your life.

This is the 80/20 Rule in action.

​​

Want to stay ahead?

Stay focused.

Don’t obsess over every app, trend, or buzzword.

But do understand the changes affecting your trade, your craft, your relationships, your body, and your money.

If you can adapt to that 20%, you’re already ahead of 80% of the world.

3. The Price of Stagnation

When you stay stuck, three things happen:

• You lose relevance. People stop looking to you. You become the guy with outdated tools, outdated ideas, and outdated wisdom.
• You lose confidence. Because deep down, you know you’re falling behind. And that eats away at your spirit.
• You lose leverage. If you’re not improving, you’re not increasing your value. And if your value’s not rising, neither are your options.

Life rewards those who move.

Slowly, maybe—but deliberately.

Waiting is not strategy.

Waiting is denial.

4. Growth as a Lifestyle

Here’s what most people get wrong about growth: they think it has to be dramatic.

It doesn’t.

Growth isn’t always some huge reinvention.

Most of the time, it’s small shifts stacked over time.

• Learning a new skill on weekends.
• Starting a side hustle while working a 9-to-5.
• Getting back in shape with 20-minute workouts.
• Reading 5 pages of a book every day.

That’s how I went from a broke kid who barely graduated high school to a retired, 7-figure world traveler—by stacking tiny wins.

The trick is staying humble enough to admit you don’t know it all, and hungry enough to want to learn.

5. Who You Learn From Matters

Another reason people stay stuck?

Bad teachers.

If your mentor is a guy clinging to the past, who thinks the future is scary and confusing, you’ll inherit that fear.

You need teachers who walk the walk.

Who stay curious.

Who challenge you to ask better questions.

I tell my readers and students all the time—find your +, =, and -.

• + (plus): someone ahead of you to learn from.
• = (equal): someone at your level to grow with.
• – (minus): someone behind you to teach (and solidify your own growth).

That triad keeps you evolving.

6. The Emotional Toll of Being Stuck

Let’s not sugarcoat it—being stuck hurts.

• You feel left behind.
• You feel like an imposter.
• You feel like you missed the train.

But here’s the good news: the next train is already boarding.

Every day you wake up is a chance to choose growth over fear.

You just have to stop romanticizing the station you’re stuck in and get on board.

Putting It On the Mat

I remember the first time I heard the words,

“Don’t think that you have to win.

Think you don’t have to lose.”

​​

It was from Grandmaster Bong Soo Han during my Hapkido training.

It stuck with me.

Years later, on a construction site in downtown LA, I saw that philosophy in action—only it wasn’t on the mat, it was in a union meeting.

We were discussing automation and prefabrication creeping into our work.

Some of the older guys were furious.

• “They’re trying to replace us!”
• “We gotta fight this!”
• “This ain’t right!”

One guy stood up and said something that sounded like warrior wisdom to me.

“If we don’t learn to work with the machines, the machines will work without us.”

That was the day I decided: I’m not going to be the old man yelling at clouds.

I started learning new skills.

• Technology.
• Business.
• Marketing.
• Writing.
• Coaching.

I retired early, but I didn’t stop growing.

I just switched arenas.

I moved from jobsite to dojo, from blueprints to battle plans.

Now I teach young warriors like you how to do the same.

You don’t need to become a tech bro.

You don’t need to chase trends.

But you do need to ask yourself:

• Where in my life am I stuck?
• What change am I resisting?
• What fear is keeping me from adapting?

Because here’s the reality:

You don’t need to become someone else.

You just need to become who you were always meant to be—but never gave yourself permission to grow into.

It starts with one decision: I won’t stay stuck.

Let that be your mantra this week.

Grow or die.

Tattoo it where you can see it.

Put it on the mat.

Then take action.