The Power of Labels: Are They Building Bridges or Burning Them?

The Smallest Gesture, The Biggest Impact

I sit at my usual café, the smell of roasted coffee beans filling the air.

My buddy, a college professor, is sitting next to me, flipping through a stack of student profiles.

He’s not just skimming names—he’s memorizing them.

“The semester’s starting,” he says, eyes focused on the list. “I want to remember each of my students.”

I nod, impressed. “That’s a lot of names, man.”

He shrugs. “It’s worth it.”

And he’s right.

He’s making an effort that most teachers don’t.

Some will say, “What’s the point? It’s just a semester.”

But I’ve read How to Win Friends and Influence People, and I know the truth—a person’s name is the most important word in their vocabulary.

When someone remembers your name, it’s not just a word.

It’s a signal.

It says, I see you. You matter.

And that’s powerful.

So I look at my buddy and tell him, “That’s why I like you. You’re a 20%er.”

He laughs. “A what?”

“A 20%er.​

The kind of person who goes the extra mile when most won’t.

Someone who makes the effort.

Someone who gives a damn.”

And just like that, a label became a bridge.

The Hidden Power of Labels

Labels: The Invisible Forces Shaping Your World

You might not realize it, but labels dictate how you see the world.

Every day, you’re labeling things—people, places, situations—without even thinking about it.

• That guy who cut you off in traffic? Asshole.
• The coworker who sent you a snarky email? Passive-aggressive prick.
• The stranger who held the door open? Kind soul.

We do it automatically.

Our brains categorize everything to make sense of the chaos around us.

But here’s the kicker—labels don’t just describe reality. They shape it.

They dictate:

• How you treat people.
• How people treat you.
• How you see yourself.

Most people throw labels around carelessly, like pennies in a fountain.

But the people who understand their power?

They use labels deliberately—to connect, to elevate, and to transform.

Let me show you how.

Lesson #1: The Labels You Use for Others Shape Your Relationships

Years ago, back on the jobsite, I worked on projects that had over 1,000 tradesmen on-site.

That’s a hell of a lot of people to remember.

​The Dunbar Number suggests that we can only maintain about 150 meaningful relationships at a time—so how the hell was I supposed to remember everyone’s name?

I cheated.

I started calling the guys “brother” and the women “sister.”

It was subtle.

But it changed everything.

Instead of just coworkers, we became family.

The worksite felt different.

The vibe changed. No longer competitors, no longer separate trades—just one team, one mission.

And here’s the best part—they felt it too.

A simple shift in language transformed the energy of the jobsite.

And it didn’t cost me a damn thing.

What labels are you using when you talk to people?

Are they bringing you closer, or pushing you apart?

Lesson #2: The Labels You Give Yourself Shape Your Potential

Let me ask you something:

How do you label yourself?

• Are you a warrior or a wimp?
• Are you a leader or just an employee?
• Are you a winner or just someone who’s “trying”?

Most people box themselves in with weak, self-defeating labels.

• “I’m just not a people person.” → Translation: I refuse to develop social skills.
• “I’m bad at business.” → Translation: I’m avoiding the work it takes to learn.
• “I’m an introvert, so I can’t network.” → Translation: I’m using my personality as an excuse.

Here’s what you need to know.

Your labels become your limits.

But the opposite is also true—change your labels, and you change your reality.

When I first stepped onto the Hapkido mat as a white belt, I didn’t know who I was in that space.

I wasn’t strong.

I wasn’t fast.

I was just a guy trying to survive.

But my GM Bong Soo Han didn’t let me stay there.

They gave me a new label.

“You’re a martial artist now.”

I didn’t feel like one at first.

But the more I trained, the more I became that label.

By the time I reached my Ha stage in Hapkido (the phase where I was adapting techniques to fit my unique body, energy, and style), I finally understood.

You don’t just “find yourself.”

You build yourself—one label at a time.

What label are you carrying that’s holding you back?

And what new label do you need to embrace?

Lesson #3: Labels Can Unite or Divide—Choose Wisely

The world is full of cheap, lazy labels that divide us.

• Left vs. Right.
• This race vs. that race.
• This class vs. that class.

Social media thrives on labels of division.

It’s easier to argue with a label than a person.

It’s easier to dismiss someone as “one of those people” than to actually listen to them.

But here’s the thing—labels don’t have to be weapons.

They can be bridges.

I saw this firsthand in BJJ.

On the mat, there are no job titles.

No political parties.

No social classes.

It’s just white belts and blue belts, purple belts and brown belts.

The mat doesn’t care where you come from.

It only cares about one thing: Did you show up?

And because of that shared identity, that label, everyone helps each other.

The black belts help the white belts, and the white belts remind the black belts where they started.

Labels can divide us.

But when used right?

They make us family.

How are you labeling the people around you?

Are you building walls, or are you building bridges?

The Challenge—Redefine Your Labels

So here’s your challenge:

🔹 Pay attention to the labels you use for others. Do they build people up or tear them down? Do they unite or divide?
🔹 Start labeling yourself with intention. Choose words that elevate, challenge, and push you forward.
🔹 Use labels to bring people together. Whether it’s “brother,” “sister,” or “teammate,” choose words that create bonds, not barriers.

The words you use—whether spoken or in your own mind—aren’t just descriptions.

They’re self-fulfilling prophecies.

So stop labeling yourself as “stuck.”

Stop labeling other people as “the enemy.”

And start labeling yourself as the kind of person who gets up and takes action.

The kind of person who builds bridges instead of burning them.

The kind of person who, when people see you, they think—

That’s a 20%er.

That’s someone who gives a damn.

Now go make it happen.