One Thing Dr. J said that Turned My Life Around

Comfort is the Enemy of Growth

There’s a dangerous trap in life that too many people fall into—comfort.

It’s easy, it’s cozy, and it lulls you into a false sense of security.

But comfort is a double-edged sword.

The very thing that makes you feel safe is the same thing that keeps you stuck.

It’s a prison of your own making, and the bars are made of your own unwillingness to push beyond your limits.

Dr. J, Julius Erving, was one of the most iconic basketball players I grew up watching as a kid.

He once said,

“I demand more from myself than anybody could ever expect.”

– Julius Erving

This quote hit me hard, and it changed the way I approached every aspect of my life.

It wasn’t just about doing what was required or meeting someone else’s expectations.

It was about surpassing them—demanding more from myself than anyone else ever could.

That mindset became my fuel, my edge, my secret weapon.

When you demand more from yourself, you break free from the comfort zone that most people get trapped in.

You start setting your own standards, raising the bar higher than anyone else would dare.

It’s about pushing yourself to do more, to be more, to expect more.

And when you do, life responds.

You become stronger, smarter, more resilient, and ultimately, more successful.

The Cost of Playing It Safe

Think about where you are right now.

Are you content?

Are you coasting through life, doing just enough to get by?

Maybe you’re doing okay—things aren’t bad, but they’re not great either.

But here’s the thing—playing it safe, staying in your comfort zone, will never lead to greatness.

You’ll never achieve anything remarkable by doing what’s easy.

I learned this lesson early on in life, growing up in Honolulu in the 70s and 80s.

Back then, I was just a simple kid with big dreams.

I wasn’t born into wealth, privilege, or opportunity.

I had to make my own way.

And I knew that if I wanted more out of life, I had to demand more from myself.

No one else was going to do it for me.

One of my favorite Atari 8-bit games was the Electronic Arts game One on One: Dr. J. vs. Larry Bird.​

(and of course, the classic 4-player game, M.U.L.E.!)

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Dr. J was already one of the basketball icons I watched on TV as a kid, but playing that game made me even more interested in him—not just as an athlete but as a person.

I wanted to understand how he became so smooth, so talented, so feared on the court. What drove him? What was his secret?

As I dug deeper, I learned that Dr. J wasn’t just naturally gifted.

Sure, he had talent, but what set him apart was his mindset.

He demanded more from himself than anyone else ever could.

He pushed himself harder, trained longer, and worked on his game relentlessly.

He didn’t just want to be good—he wanted to be the best.

And he was willing to put in the work to make it happen.

How else could he have so smoothly implemented the “Rock the Baby” dunk, considered by some as the greatest dunk of all time!​

That lesson stuck with me.

It taught me that success isn’t about doing what’s easy.

It’s about challenging yourself every single day,

• even when you don’t feel like it
• even when no one is watching
• even when it’s hard

It’s about setting a higher standard for yourself and never settling for anything less.

But here’s the problem.

Most people aren’t willing to do that.

They’re afraid of discomfort, afraid of failure, afraid of pushing themselves too hard.

They don’t demand more from themselves because they don’t want to risk falling short.

They’d rather stay in their comfort zone, where it’s safe and predictable, even if it means missing out on greatness.

But what they don’t realize is that playing it safe comes with a cost.

It’s the cost of missed opportunities, unfulfilled potential, and a life of mediocrity.

When you don’t challenge yourself, you don’t grow.

You don’t improve.

You don’t achieve anything extraordinary.

You just exist, going through the motions, waiting for something to change.

But nothing will change until you do.

Demanding More from Yourself—A Daily Practice

If you want to achieve more in life, you have to demand more from yourself.

It’s not enough to do what’s expected or to meet someone else’s standards.

You have to set your own standards, and they have to be higher than anyone else’s.

You have to push yourself harder, challenge yourself more, and never settle for anything less than your best.

This mindset has been the key to my success, both on the mat and in life.

As a martial artist, I’ve trained under some of the best in the world, including Grandmaster Bong Soo Han.​

But I didn’t just show up to class and go through the motions.

I pushed myself to improve every day.

I demanded more from myself than my instructors did.

I showed up to train 6-7 days a week, 3-4 hours a day.

I didn’t just want to earn my black belt—I wanted to master myself and hopefully, the art.

I wanted to be the best martial artist I could be.

And I’m still doing that in BJJ, though I’m only a white belt.

I show up to school 7 days a week to participate or observe the noon class.

Sometimes, my body is too beat up, so I need to rest but at least I can watch, take notes and see what the other students are doing.

But showing up every day means that I’m getting at least 4-5 days on the mat, which means I’m getting 12-25 rolls in a week.

Sometimes surprising my upper belt partners with the progress I’m making.

The same principle applied to my career as a union electrician.

I didn’t just do my job—I excelled at it.

I took on the toughest projects, learned the most complex skills, and always delivered top-quality work.

I demanded more from myself than my bosses ever did, and as a result, I was rewarded with more opportunities, more recognition, and more success.

And it didn’t matter if I worked for dumbass contractors or the best shops in town, sometimes I couldn’t control that.

But what I could control was that I was a professional, a craftsman who gave the best work possible day, in and day out.

And it’s not just about work or martial arts.

This mindset applies to every aspect of life.

Whether it’s your health, your relationships, your finances, or your personal development, you have to demand more from yourself if you want to achieve more.

Here’s how you can start challenging yourself every day:

1. Set High Standards: Don’t settle for average. Set high standards for yourself in everything you do. Whether it’s your work, your fitness, or your relationships, aim to be exceptional. Don’t just meet expectations—exceed them.
2. Push Beyond Your Limits: Growth happens outside your comfort zone. If something feels difficult or uncomfortable, that’s a sign you’re on the right track. Embrace the challenge, and push yourself beyond what you think you can do.
3. Take Responsibility: Don’t make excuses or blame others for your failures. Take full responsibility for your life and your results. If you’re not where you want to be, it’s up to you to change that.
4. Be Consistent: Success isn’t about doing something once—it’s about doing it consistently. Challenge yourself every day, not just when you feel like it. Make it a habit, and over time, you’ll see the results.
5. Surround Yourself with Excellence: You become like the people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with people who challenge you, inspire you, and demand more from themselves. Their mindset will rub off on you.
6. Never Settle: No matter how much you achieve, never settle. Always strive for more. Keep raising the bar, keep challenging yourself, and keep growing. Success is a journey, not a destination.

The Reward of Demanding More

When you start demanding more from yourself, everything changes.

You become more disciplined, more focused, more driven.

You start achieving things you never thought possible.

You break through barriers, overcome challenges, and reach new heights of success.

You become the person you were meant to be.

For me, this mindset has been the key to happiness, success, and wealth.

• It’s the reason I was able to retire early, travel the world, and live a life I love.
• It’s the reason I’ve been married for over 24 years and have built strong, meaningful relationships.
• It’s the reason I’ve been able to achieve so much in both my career and my personal life.

But it all started with a simple decision—to demand more from myself than anyone else ever could.

That decision set me on a path of constant growth and improvement, and it’s a path I’m still on today.

I’m not telling you this to brag—I’m telling you this because I want you to experience the same transformation.

I want you to realize that you’re capable of more than you think.

You have untapped potential, hidden strengths, and uncharted possibilities waiting for you.

But you’ll never discover them if you stay in your comfort zone.

You have to challenge yourself, push yourself, and demand more from yourself every single day.

And when you do, you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve.

Take the Challenge

So here’s my challenge to you.

Start demanding more from yourself today.

Don’t wait for someone else to set the bar—set it yourself.

Push yourself to do more, to be more, to expect more.

Challenge yourself to break free from your comfort zone and strive for greatness.

Remember Dr. J’s words: “I demand more from myself than anybody could ever expect.”

Make that your mantra.

Live by it.

And watch how your life changes.

You don’t have to be a basketball superstar to adopt this mindset.

You don’t have to be naturally talented, rich, or lucky.

All you need is the willingness to challenge yourself, to push beyond your limits, and to demand more from yourself than anyone else ever could.

That’s the path to success.

That’s the path to happiness.

That’s the path to a life of fulfillment and meaning.

So, are you ready to take the challenge?

Are you ready to demand more from yourself and see what you’re truly capable of?

The choice is yours.

​Are you ready to reach new heights?